Depression in cancer patient

Hello 

My Dad has had prostate cancer for 4 years and stayed positive for most of this time. Last summer he had a hospital stay for around a week due to a blockage,

a rectal tumour created a narrowing of the intestine. He came out OK, and for a few months was .. well, average. Eating when he could, but able to have a life. 

At the beginning of this year he was rushed to hospital, sudden collapse, blockage again, developed severe sepsis and wasn't aware of anything much around him. 

His breathing was terrible, he couldn't eat and after 3 weeks the doctors said that a hospice was the next stage as surgery wasn't an option. 

Next thing was, he was down for surgery! He had a stoma, came home and was doing OK - ish. Very weak, but was getting up and getting dressed,

and having small outings most days just for a coffee and cake, but seemingly enjoying the socialising. He also had a coffee at the local pub once a week 

with his best friend - and sometimes Mum and I too. 

The past 4 weeks or so he has declined mentally ... he says physically he doesn't feel any better or worse ... however he does not get dressed now, 

only speaks when spoken to, doesn't laugh anymore, says 'it's his time and nobody can help him now' .. He refuses to admit that he is depressed, and when the

district nurses suggested contacting the GP regarding this he said he would never take anti-depressants. I am at a loss. I go every day I am not working, and try to 

jolly things along, but am verging on a mental breakdown now! 

I have visited my own GP for help for me, and am awaiting therapy. And I plan to contact my Dad's GP in the next few days for advice .. however any help will be 

gratefully received!

Parents
  • Hi, 

    I'm in a slightly different situation as it is my husband who has cancer. He was given around a year to live at the age of 35 and at first seemed as ok as possible with the situation. He started treatment and I think he wasn't feeling better as quickly as he had hoped and started to lose hope in being able to eat normally again which was his main aim. He became quite depressed and wouldn't get dressed, didn't enjoy anything he used to and would just sit most of the day. I tried to encourage him to talk to the GP, try medication, try therapy etc but he said no to everything as he was depressed about the situation and none of those things would change that. For me the only thing that helped was getting counselling for myself which helped me to have an outlet without feeling like I was making things worse for him so I think it's definitely a good thing that you're going down that route and hope it will help you too. My husband's mood improved as his treatment started having more effect and his physical health became better. I do worry about what will happen when his health declines again but I think it may just be a reality of the situation that he will have lower moods again. Hopefully your dad is in a low point and may come back out of it but sadly I think the best you can do is look after your own mental health for now, make sure to talk to friends, go out for walks and just do your best to spend time with your dad without expecting too much at the minute. I hope things improve for you all and wish you the best x

  • I'm sorry to hear about your husband, it's so hard isn't it? You're right to get counselling for yourself at this time though. Things have changed here as my Dad is back in hospital. I found him mid week on the concrete outside, out cold. Short story, he has a blood infection so has had a blood transfusion, fluids, antibiotics and will probably be discharged on Monday. I have organised a stair lift to be fitted on Monday - he will be angry at that! Knowing him, he'll struggle on past it up and down the stairs, given his stubborn nature. We had suggested blood tests 2 weeks ago, he refused and the nurse said this could have prevented this hospital stay. 

    Anyway, looking after ourselves is important. I have been doing jigsaws and art, listening to audiobooks and podcasts and doing a lot of walking. Thank you so much for taking the time to send me a message, it is appreciated. I hope things improve for you and your husband, also. All the best, take care x

Reply
  • I'm sorry to hear about your husband, it's so hard isn't it? You're right to get counselling for yourself at this time though. Things have changed here as my Dad is back in hospital. I found him mid week on the concrete outside, out cold. Short story, he has a blood infection so has had a blood transfusion, fluids, antibiotics and will probably be discharged on Monday. I have organised a stair lift to be fitted on Monday - he will be angry at that! Knowing him, he'll struggle on past it up and down the stairs, given his stubborn nature. We had suggested blood tests 2 weeks ago, he refused and the nurse said this could have prevented this hospital stay. 

    Anyway, looking after ourselves is important. I have been doing jigsaws and art, listening to audiobooks and podcasts and doing a lot of walking. Thank you so much for taking the time to send me a message, it is appreciated. I hope things improve for you and your husband, also. All the best, take care x

Children
No Data