My husband has incurable prostate cancer. Diagnosed two years ago, he remains relatively well although as time goes on he is definitely more fatigued.
He has blood tests every four weeks to check to see if his cancer is reactivated. Although we know the day will come when his treatment fails it is still very difficult waiting for the call from oncology every month.
To compound the stress, his mother who is 95 is in a care home. Bed bound now for 8 months, dying from dementia, can be extremely agitated at times so is heavily sedated. Doesn’t really know who we are and mostly sleeps through the day and night. It is extremely distressing watching her fade away so slowly.
Two months ago I developed bilateral pulmonary emboli and have just begun my own healing journey. Terrified I clot again, but told it could take between 3 months and a year for me to recover. I feel so guilty that I’m struggling to care for my husband or have empathy for my mother in law.
At times like now, I feel very lost and hopeless. I have no idea what the future will hold.
