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Partner cancer and accusation

Katiez24
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Hi 

My partner of 14 years has been diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago went through radiotherapy and chemo ,after that started using cocaine for pain relief and drink more ,after some time he developed some paranoia that I am cheating .he kept accusing me that I am inviting ppl to the house ,he sees finger prints on pillows etc etc I couldn't cope anymore and kicked him out and he got temporary accommodation. We got 8 year old daughter I really wished that we could make this work I sent him to AA to help with drinking he spends all his money then come crying to me for help ,he sends me lirs of abusive messages turn to my house at night drunk I had social service involved as well .I don't drink smoke or take drugs .I work full time and look after my daughter .I don't know if there is any hope .I feel so bad to leave him he is changed so much since the cancer .now he is going for another scan as well coz he feels pain .i really don't know I feel like I am breaking down 

Parents

  • Hi Katiez24,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. I saw your post and wanted to send a reply. I'm sorry to hear of the situation with your partner and that you are experiencing these difficulties - it sounds really tough.

    It sounds like you have done a lot to try to help him. Ultimately there is only so much that you can do, and you also have to prioritise yourself and your daughter. I can understand you feeling bad, but try not to feel guilty as you have done so much and need to look after yourself and your daughter.

    I'm not sure if you are still receiving support from social services, but if he is becoming a threat then do be sure to seek help to prevent this. There is also some guidance from Citizens Advice about this, in case this is useful. Also, please keep in mind that at https://famanon.org.uk/ they have a forum similar to Cancer Chat where you can get help and support from people who maybe going through similar ordeals. https://adfam.org.uk/help-for-families/finding-support/ has a helpline as well as other support services. Lastly, call 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247 or visit their website https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/ if you think it can help.

    I hope that this forum can be of some help to you - it is a safe space to write things down and to reach out to others. We are always here if you need it, so do keep in touch if you need any support at all.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Ben

    Thanks for reply .he is in his own place so that is OK I just don't want to leave him alone during this difficult time but I just need to back off now 

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