Prostate cancer

My father is starting hormone therapy in a week or so to be followed by radio therapy in early summer. I have read a little about side effects. He is  too far from me to be with him all the time but I want to be as supportive as I can be especially as my mother died last year after a very late diagnosis and he is over the initial shock but still learning to live alone. Any advice on what would be helpful to put in place for him?  I am planning to fly over and stay for a few days to cook and stock up the freezer, will buy some good vitamins and make sure he has all the essentials. I can only afford to do this maybe every couple of months. I wish he could come here but is under the care of an entirely different - non UK - health system. Generally he is well and active, still works and loves his garden but having been looked after for over 50 years is not in the habit of cooking etc and certainly won't if he is suffering from side effects.  I know it's different for different people but any advice would be gratefully received. Thank you

  • Hello Tashw72 and a warm welcome to the forum though sorry you have to be hear and that your dad has cancer. the first thing to do is try to get your dad as fit as possible as nearly everyone gets fatigue which can be tough on many, and the fitter you are the less the impact, calcium and vitamin D are important as treatment can weaken bone, you could get some sage tea as it helps with hot flushes and incontinence pads as most guys do get it all the other side effects he will have to manage himself. As  your dad is fit and active it will be a big help to him through treatment as will you, if i can help in any way just ask. goon luck and take care

    Eddie

  • This is probably a silly question but do the side effects carry on after the treatment or are they side effects OF the treatment?

  • Hi Tashw72, the main cause of most side effects is the hormone therapy; ED and incontinence is due to RT. You can get side effects within days or it could be months and a few are lucky and do not get any or maybe only 1 or 2. Most get a few leading up to RT especially fatigue which almost everyone gets then with RT comes incontinence and ED but not to everyone. Towards the end of RT and 2 months after is for many the most difficult time before side effects start to ease and hopefully over time disappear. As your dad will most likely be on HT for some time after RT some side effects can persist but to a lessening degree. All mine stopped about 12 weeks after RT apart from incontinence, "though i had a TURP and aggressive RT" and now i need to go to the loo 1 or 2 times at night. take care.

    Eddie

  • Hello, I’m new to this and was just reading through some of what people are going through, my dad also has prostate cancer and has his first hormone injection tomorrow, how do you help someone who doesn’t let you help them? I struggle to get him to even talk about it and his still working full time, even tomorrow after his injection his going back to work and I’m just really worried about him.

  • Hello Sibble2019 and welcome, i am sorry to hear your dad has cancer. It's ok if your dad wants to work, lots of guys getting treatment do and it will help him physically and emotionally. When i was first diagnosed i never told my kids much as i didn't want to see them upset and i am guessing your dad is the same, give your dad a little time as he has a few things to think about and try to make family life as normal as you can and he will open up. I also have prostate cancer, PCa, and if i can help in any way just ask, take care.

    Eddie

  • Thank you, I really appreciate that, my mum had breast cancer when I was 14 and for the next year it was horrendous, she was so ill and i tried everything to help her but now I’m  just so worried my dad will be the same. He is having radiotherapy hormone injections starting tomorrow. I’m now in my 30s and have my own children but I feel like I’ve gone back to being 14 and I’m not sure how to help, my mum has been diagnosed with heart failure also in the same month as my dad’s diagnosis so it’s like how can I help them both at the same time as my mum also doesn’t really like talking about it and I’m not sure how be supportive with out being pushy.

  • My dad is exactly the same. We only lost my mum last year and work has helped him cope I think so maybe it is helping him and your dad deal with it. Men are often so different to women when it comes to opening up and talking about these things.

  • Hi Sibble2019 a word about  prostate cancer 98% of guys who get it will not die of it. I have had PCa for 2 years and apart from the occasional minor dribble wouldn't know i had it. Do you know your dads stats his PSA number  Gleason score or TNM staging, 

    Eddie

  • Hi Tashw72, If It's any help I too am living with heart failure ACHD, CHD and aortic enlargement, and have been living with it for 12 years having a pretty normal life. If you know your dad's stats, PSA Gleason and TNM staging, and it's ok to show me, i could help you with his diagnosis. PS 98% of men who get prostate cancer do not die of it, take care.

    Eddie

  • So sorry to hear about your mum, it is hard to get through to them but I’m hoping work helps and not makes it worse as he does over do it ,his always rushing about and stressed out with work.