Whilst not the same, i had difficult patches when my wife was going through treatment, and it wasn't outright abuse. Her "difficult" behaviour only arose when she was taking steroids, but it wasn't pleasant at the time. I used to close myself away in a room some days because i knew the shouting and whatnot was coming, but it was always temporary. I'm one of those that by nature shouts/argues back when receiving it, cancer diagnosis or not. But i knew it wasn't my wife as she's not like that at all.

We spoke to her oncologist about this, and to my surprise, he made a joke about it. Saying, we're doing well because we were talking, and he has a fair few couples through his door that have begun to loathe one another and haven't spoken to each other properly in weeks. It's easy for those people who aren't living in the middle of this to make light of it, but when you're the one living through it, you fail to see the joke. Also, friends and family show their true colours. They get the best parts of people. Like looking after someone's kid for a few hours and being able to hand it back, so they only get to see all the good bits, and none of the sleepless nights and tantrums.

I'd mention all this to your husband's treating doctors because it's not beyond the realm of possibility that the medication he's receiving is playing a part in this.

My overriding feeling with this is abuse is abuse, cancer diagnosis or not. And no one needs to put up with it, nor should they. Ignore those friends and family that basically make out you have a duty of care. If they're so concerned, let them step into your shoes for a week. They won't, because they don't want to face the truth, they just want to go home and delude themselves into thinking how a person acts in front of them, is how they act all the time or that the person getting the abuse someone signed up to it and have a duty of care because "cancer". Then you get those folk that have been through it themselves, the abuse part, and because they managed to stay the course, means you should put up with the **** they did.

Whilst not the same, i had difficult patches when my wife was going through treatment, and it wasn't outright abuse. Her "difficult" behaviour only arose when she was taking steroids, but it wasn't pleasant at the time. I used to close myself away in a room some days because i knew the shouting and whatnot was coming, but it was always temporary. I'm one of those that by nature shouts/argues back when receiving it, cancer diagnosis or not. But i knew it wasn't my wife as she's not like that at all.

We spoke to her oncologist about this, and to my surprise, he made a joke about it. Saying, we're doing well because we were talking, and he has a fair few couples through his door that have begun to loathe one another and haven't spoken to each other properly in weeks. It's easy for those people who aren't living in the middle of this to make light of it, but when you're the one living through it, you fail to see the joke. Also, friends and family show their true colours. They get the best parts of people. Like looking after someone's kid for a few hours and being able to hand it back, so they only get to see all the good bits, and none of the sleepless nights and tantrums.

I'd mention all this to your husband's treating doctors because it's not beyond the realm of possibility that the medication he's receiving is playing a part in this.

My overriding feeling with this is abuse is abuse, cancer diagnosis or not. And no one needs to put up with it, nor should they. Ignore those friends and family that basically make out you have a duty of care. If they're so concerned, let them step into your shoes for a week. They won't, because they don't want to face the truth, they just want to go home and delude themselves into thinking how a person acts in front of them, is how they act all the time or that the person getting the abuse someone signed up to it and have a duty of care because "cancer". Then you get those folk that have been through it themselves, the abuse part, and because they managed to stay the course, means you should put up with the **** they did.