Abusive terminally ill partner

Hi I'm seeking advice 

My husband has been given a terminal diagnosis with 6-12 months, its been 2 months and he's been nothing but nasty to me he's a completely different man he's smashed our TV put holes in doors then it's like a switch and he forgets what he's done and said to me, I've come out of work to spend more time with him and he just wants to jet around the world with hardly any money. 

I'm not allowed to say no to him or it starts an argument any small thing I do he starts verbally attacking me. 

I know it's the diagnosis that's done this to him I still love my husband I always will I don't want to leave him but its becoming impossible my last memory's of him are going to be horrible ones. 

I just need some advise on how I can help him without him verbally attacking me I'm so tired :( 

Parents
  • My husband was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer with brain mets. He was an alcoholic before his diagnosis and he was bloody awful and he's been awful ever since his diagnosis. Sorry to say that. How I cope is by going out the gym and switch off from everything for a couple of hours. 

    I've got Marie Curie nurses involved with his palliative care but that was through the GP. You might want to speak to your GP about this situation cos he should be assigned a palliative care team to assess his situation and assign Social Workers etc to help you. 

    My husband is still living with me and I leave him to go to work cos I have to pay the bills etc and he's been abusive to me but there isn't anywhere to go for me apart Women Aid. But my attitude is why should I leave my house when he has criminally damaged my house cos he breaks plates, thrown his Zimmer frame at me, thrown a urine bottle at me!

    There is also another charity called Maggie's Centre and they will help you with financial worries especially about applying for DIP and ESA. 

    My husband is no longer there and there is a nasty person in he's place and you have to remember that. My husband was told that he had less than 3 months to live and now going on closer to 9 months and counting. It's exhausting and you will burn out like me unless you start to do stuff for yourself. You need to re-think about your work situation cos it'll give you a break from this!

Reply
  • My husband was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer with brain mets. He was an alcoholic before his diagnosis and he was bloody awful and he's been awful ever since his diagnosis. Sorry to say that. How I cope is by going out the gym and switch off from everything for a couple of hours. 

    I've got Marie Curie nurses involved with his palliative care but that was through the GP. You might want to speak to your GP about this situation cos he should be assigned a palliative care team to assess his situation and assign Social Workers etc to help you. 

    My husband is still living with me and I leave him to go to work cos I have to pay the bills etc and he's been abusive to me but there isn't anywhere to go for me apart Women Aid. But my attitude is why should I leave my house when he has criminally damaged my house cos he breaks plates, thrown his Zimmer frame at me, thrown a urine bottle at me!

    There is also another charity called Maggie's Centre and they will help you with financial worries especially about applying for DIP and ESA. 

    My husband is no longer there and there is a nasty person in he's place and you have to remember that. My husband was told that he had less than 3 months to live and now going on closer to 9 months and counting. It's exhausting and you will burn out like me unless you start to do stuff for yourself. You need to re-think about your work situation cos it'll give you a break from this!

Children
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