My bf has cancer and is pushing me away

My bf was diagnosed with bladder and prostrate cancer earlier this year. He never allows me to be with him for any of his appointments, which I struggle to accept, but I guess we are all different. 

He is due to have an endoscopic biopsy, as suspected secondary may be present in his pancreas. I kept asking when his appointment was, and mentioned that he will need a lift home from hospital after this procedure. At first he was adamant that he'd get a taxi home, or get one of his work mates to collect him. Today I asked him if he had everything ready, and told him even my teenage children said I really should be there tomorrow and I should insist. I called him, and said I needed to be there but he told me his son who lives even further away from him than I do, is collecting him. Naturally I was a bit miffed, and felt rather hurt that he didn't take me up on my offer, so I said I will be there regardless, even just to give him a hug. So now he told me he's just sent a message to the Consultant's secretary, cancelling his procedure tomorrow. I feel hurt that he won't even let me be there and would go to such lengths  but he insists on going to mine and wanted me to make him my next of kin.

Parents
  • This is an awkward question but are you sure he has cancer?

    I ask because his behaviour matches that of a case that came up on this forum a few years ago. That turned out to be Munchausens syndrome - a mental health condition where to gain attention the patient pretends to have a life-threatening illness. It all falls apart when they claim to be having surgery but insist everyone stays away. 

    Of course, he may just be trying to shield you from the experience but its a scenario worth considering.

    Good luck

    Dave

Reply
  • This is an awkward question but are you sure he has cancer?

    I ask because his behaviour matches that of a case that came up on this forum a few years ago. That turned out to be Munchausens syndrome - a mental health condition where to gain attention the patient pretends to have a life-threatening illness. It all falls apart when they claim to be having surgery but insist everyone stays away. 

    Of course, he may just be trying to shield you from the experience but its a scenario worth considering.

    Good luck

    Dave

Children
No Data