Hi,

The problem is that the doctors have as little idea about what the future holds as you do. All they have to go on are statistics, these are great with large groups of people but less than useless when applied to individuals.

Jolamine is right, we all react differently to bad news or negative diagnoses. Some people write their wills and DNRs, others make detailed funeral arrangements and some visit their local hospices.
I did the first two but refused the third as, for me, that felt too much like admitting defeat. Even though I'd been told I had only had a 5% chance of survival and that only after I'd pressed the oncologist and done my own research. 
We somehow need to tread a fine line between hopeless despair and false hope. 

Good luck

Dave

Thank you both so much. Your answers both really helped. I think you're right about treading that fine line, holding and living with that uncertainty, preparing for the worst but hoping for the best. I wish you all the best with your health Dave. That must have been very difficult to hear. It makes me wonder whether my partner's doing his own research but putting on this positive front for me. I'll bring it up when we've both had a bit of time to digest.  I really appreciate your taking the time to reply. It means a lot. I feel less alone.