Hi,

Apologies if this isn't the right place for this type of advice.

My partner's mother was diagnosed with vulvar cancer today. In general, he doesn't talk much about things which are bothering him. When he found out she was getting tested for cancer 2 weeks ago, he cried intensely but then it was as if he had convinced himself it wasn't real, or somehow he pushed it aside. He and his mom are very close so maybe he cannot stand the thought of losing her and this is his defence mechanism.

I on the other hand had been freaking out during the past 2 weeks, to the point of feeling sick and at the same time I had to keep it from him as much as I could. 

I think both of our attitudes are not healthy and I plan to work on me a bit as well, but right now my primary concern is how to support him.It must be so much more difficult for him...

I wonder though whether being in a bit of denial might be beneficial for now, considering we still have a long process of more tests to establish exactly what the situation is. I am concerned that if I try to push him to talk about it, I might make things worse. Should I just focus on being a loving partner for now, without doing something more active? And what about later on, when we have most of the answers? 

His mother has a relatively positive attitude - or at least that is what she projects when talking to us, cause she knows how much he cares for her. How can we better support her as well? Presumably supporting the positive attitude is the best way? 

Thank you very much.