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Husband has Terminal Brain Cancer

tinytears99
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My Husband has been bedbound now for at least 2 montgs,we have been waiting all this time for Physio and Equipment to help him out of his Hospital bed.We are both becoming very depressed as we feel time is running out for him and theres no quality of life.

I am on call 24/7 and at 61 with halth problems myself im struggling and to my shame i become irratable and tearful at times.

My youngest Daughter passes away in tragic circumstance coming up to 2 years ago she was 26,her little Girl,11 lives with me too and i feel she is also affected by my Husbands ill health.

We have carers to come and wash,change sheets but im still virtually housebound and hate the fact im resenting it!:-(

  • A very warm welcome to the forum Tinytears although I'm so sorry to read your post. 

    Please don't feel bad for getting irritable, tearful or depressed. Being a carer is so challenging and given how much you're having to do, it's completely understandable, and natural, that this will get to you at times and leave you feeling sad, overwhelmed and drained.

    Many of our members know how tough being a carer can be so you are not alone on this journey and hopefully some of our members who have experienced similar difficulties and challenges will be along soon to share their experiences and offer their support and advice. I'm not sure if you are aware of Carers UK, but if not, it may be worth getting in touch with them as they may be able to offer you more information, support and advice. 

    I know you mentioned that you feel this is having an impact on your grand-daughter. I hope these resources we have on supporting children when someone is dying will help but it may be worth letting her school know what is going on (if you haven't had the chance to do so already) as they may be able to offer her additional support. You may also want to get in touch with Hope Support Services as they help young people between 5 - 25 who have a loved one with a serious illness.

    I know it will be tough Tinytears, but if you are able to get any help from any family or friends, do be sure to utilise this so you can take some time for yourself. I hope this guidance we have will help you with this.

    Our community are here for you Tinytears and will do all they can to help you at this very difficult time. 

    Sending all our strength and a very big, virtual hug your way.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

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    Aww bless you this must be so hard for you and everyone else. I am really sorry to hear about your husband and what he's going through. This is so tough and distressing and I want you to know that there is no wrong or right way to cope and feel with it. If you want or need to cry then you cry away. Crying is a good release. When my mum was dying of cancer and I was helping care and support her I cried so much, every day and night. It was heartbreaking. I also was irritable and at times so angry, I felt it wasn't fair that this was happening and would just break down. So please please do not be so hard on yourself. It's natural to feel the way you are feeling and you shouldn't be hard on yourself for it or ashamed ️ I've felt the same, and I am sure so many others have here as well.

    Like Steph said it might be worth letting your granddaughters school know what's going on so that they can support her and it might be a good idea to let her know about Childline who can offer her a lot of support during this horrible time. I've been in touch with Childline since my mum passed away and still am now and their support has got me through a lot of tough times.

    And if you need to talk-vent-or cry then you can always come here for support from the community.. we all want to be here for you and help you through this awful time ️

    I send you all the love and hugs in the world xx

    Love Jess xx

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