My husband died last year
Diagnosed with terminal lung cancer Dec 2019
Started immunotherapy and chemotherapy combined in Feb 2020 Sadly the treatment was too severe and had to be suspended in August.
I was 18 when we met ,married at 20 Loved each other deeply .No children.
He pushed me away latterly . I thought dying was about comfort and talking to each other. It felt like he resented me. I looked after him at home with no physical help until the last few days.He died at the end of November .
I miss so much of him I feel cheated, selfish again but if he could of given me something ,"I love you" ,to ease my pain. The isolation of covid of course didn't help. It's the overwhelming sadness of his suffering that I will always find so painful..
Has anyone else mentioned this experience?
The sadness is overwhelming at times.
I appreciate grief is selfish and my rational side can explain it but my heart breaks when I think of it