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Friend starting chemo for testicular cancer soon - How can I best support him? I live too far away to visit and don't want to say the wrong thing

Malt_Bobs
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Hello, I'm looking for some advice, but not sure this is the right forum. A close friend of mine has been diagnosed with testicular cancer and is starting chemo very soon. I really want to support him, but don't know how best to do this. We have never really chatted much about our health before, and i live too far away to visit him, so i'm wracking my brains to think of other ways to show I care. I'm really fortunate that neither i nor my close family have had a cancer diagnosis or experienced chemo so I don't actually know what it is like, only from what i have heard or read about. I just don't want to say the wrong thing and in fact maybe not talking about it is best. We normally laugh and joke about things together, but this doesn't feel right either. I want to be useful, but that is hard being so far away but i also don't want to say the wrong thing. Can you offer any advice on how to talk about it or what to say? 

  • Hi.

    It sounds to me as though you've come to the right place and of course you're really welcome.

    I've read your post several times, and every time I've been reached the same conclusion. You're saying so much, with evident compassion and concern. You're talking from your heart. It's very strong. It's very moving.

    I'd be so grateful to hear a friend saying what you've written, doubts and all. Maybe your friend might feel the same way?

    Warmest wishes.

  • Hi Malt_Bobs and thank you for your post.

    I am sorry to learn that a close friend has been diagnosed with testicular cancer.

     It’s really hard when a close friend is ill, and it’s normal to feel scared and unsure what to do.

    Sometimes people need time before they’re ready to talk. Just knowing you’re there can make a big difference.

    Everyone copes with a cancer diagnosis differently; there is no one right way to deal with it.

    You may find it helpful to read our webpage on how cancer can make you feel.

    Even though you live far away, there are lots of ways to show your support. A text message, a phone call, or a simple message to check in can make a big difference.

    You do not need to have all the right words. Just being there and staying in touch can mean more than you realise.

    We have information on supporting someone with cancer which you may find helpful. 

    If laughing and joking is a normal part of your friendship, don't feel you have to stop. Let your friend take the lead.  

    Many people find it helpful to have moments where they can forget about cancer and just be themselves.

    Please get back to us if you need any more information or support

    It might help to talk things through with one of our nurses on the helpline. You can call for free on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm.

    I hope this information is helpful.

    Kind regards

    Tina

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