Really worried about my mum.

My mum is 79. She has been a smoker since 14. She has had a rattling cough on waking for years although it improves through the day. She has been complaining about back pain for weeks. Her appetite has been diminishing since around March. She has replaced her mattress twice in a month but the back pain is getting worse. It seems to be worse at night. Over the last few days she has all but stopped eating. She will pick at cold foods and ice cream. She has lost a dramatic amount of weight in a fortnight. She has been quite active until about a week ago including walking her dog but is no longer doing anything other than lying on her bed. Fortunately she lives with us so I am able to do things for her. She won’t go to the doctor, largely because she is afraid. I’m obviously very worried but I can’t do anything until she either gets worse to the extent I can call an ambulance or agrees to see the GP. Any advice gratefully received. 

Parents
  • Hello and thanks for posting

    I'm sorry to read about your mum's situation and her refusal to see her GP about her symptoms.

    I'm not sure if your mum has shared why she won't see her GP. It may be about fear, losing control, or just feeling overwhelmed.

    As an adult, she is within her rights not to see her doctor, but she needs to understand the implications of doing this, such as her symptoms getting worse.

    I’m sure you’ve tried to tell her how worried you are as you know she is deteriorating. You can gently explain that you just want to help with her pain and make her more comfortable, but you can’t do that without her being assessed by the GP.

    If you feel your mum is deteriorating out of GP hours and needs to be assessed in an emergency, then please call NHS111 or attend the nearest A+E department.

    Give us a ring if you would like to talk anything over. The number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday.

    Kind regards,

    Celene

Reply
  • Hello and thanks for posting

    I'm sorry to read about your mum's situation and her refusal to see her GP about her symptoms.

    I'm not sure if your mum has shared why she won't see her GP. It may be about fear, losing control, or just feeling overwhelmed.

    As an adult, she is within her rights not to see her doctor, but she needs to understand the implications of doing this, such as her symptoms getting worse.

    I’m sure you’ve tried to tell her how worried you are as you know she is deteriorating. You can gently explain that you just want to help with her pain and make her more comfortable, but you can’t do that without her being assessed by the GP.

    If you feel your mum is deteriorating out of GP hours and needs to be assessed in an emergency, then please call NHS111 or attend the nearest A+E department.

    Give us a ring if you would like to talk anything over. The number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday.

    Kind regards,

    Celene

Children
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