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I hate the way I look

Remy
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I had a right mastectomy in Feb 25 no reconstruction.

I hate the way I look

I hate the prosthesis given by my specialist nurse it's too heavy and makes me too hot

I bought other types of prosthesis, lighter in weight, but hate them too

I hte that I have no cleavage

I hate that I can't wear a lot of my clothes now as they show too much

What are my realistic options and how do I stop feeling so self conscious??

  • Offline

    HI Remy,

    A very warm welcome to our forum.

    I'm sorry to hear that you feel so unhappy with the 'new you' post-mastectomy. I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer and 1 of pre-cancer, all within a year of one another. I had a lumpectomy the first time and a double mastectomy for the second bout. Due to scarring from previous non-cancer related surgery, I was unable to have reconstruction. I agree that the silicone prostheses are too heavy and I found that I had to alter a lot of my clothes after my surgery. I found that the foam breast forms from Marks and Spencer are much lighter, although their shape is not as good. I keep my silicone prostheses for special occasions, or when I need to look more respectable. With most of my clothing which was too low cut, I either sewed it up a bit further or I place a modesty panel around my bra straps which brings the front opening up higher. You can buy these ready -made, but the choice is limited. You can make them very easily yourself and there are all sorts of laces and lovely materials to choose from.

    To start with, I bought swimming prostheses too, but again these were too heavy. and ended up around my waist when I was in the water. I find that the afore-mentioned breast forms are ideal for swimming too, as they don't hold the water. They are sold separately and cost £10.00 each. It is still early days for you, but you will gradually come to terms with the 'new you'. I didn't like my appearance post-surgery either. Mine was bad the first time, but the double mastectomy only made it look worse still!  However, these operations have saved my life and given me an extra 15 years with my family so far. I now look upon my scars as 'my battle scars' and am proud of the fact that I am still here as a cancer survivor. Hopefully, you will too with the passage of time. Do you intend to remain flat, or are you planning reconstruction in the future?

    Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Thank you for your response Jolamine and for reminding me that it is early days. I guess it is just so hard to adjust to the new me and at the moment I feel really self conscious. I have bought a few different prostheses of different weights from Nicola Jane and M&S, they are so much better than the one from the NHS/Amoena.

    I am not sure whether I would be able to have reconstruction so I think this is something to discuss at my next check up.

    Also thank you for reminding me that I am a survivor, things could have been much worse

    Remy xx

  • Offline in reply to Remy

    Hi Remy,

    You certainly are a survivor - you've just come through the fight for your life and come up victorious. A wonky boob and no cleavage is a small price to pay for that. Be glad that you've made it this far and be proud of the fact. I had large breasts, which were my pride and joy and I miss them sorely, but there's no point in whingeing about what I've no longer got. Many of us worry about body image post-surgery. I think that it is harder to cope with the unevenness of just having one breast remaining, in that sense, I was lucky that I had both removed. I have got used to the 'new me' in the past 15 years and it hasn't stopped me from doing anything.

    It is certainly worth discussing reconstruction, although there is quite a waiting time for it in most areas. Do please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. In the meantime - Welcome to the Cancer Survivor's Club!

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

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