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End of life - dad has advanced terminal prostate cancer. Based on his signs and symptoms, how long do you think he has left?

Dawn007
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My dad has terminal prostate cancer and its spread to his bones - ribs and back area, he sleeps most of the time, eats very little (a yoghurt and 2 bites of a sandwich per day, drinks a lot of tea mind!) ! He has a catheter as well. He recently was admitted to hospital because of blood loss via catheter, he was given 3 x transfusions and was released home 2 days later. In the last six months he has lost an incredible amount of weight and he battles to speak, it comes out like a squeaky forced shout? And a year ago had 2 strokes, he’s on blood thinners (but this makes his bladder bleed) and then ends up in hospital for blood transfusions, if he stops the thinners he’s at very high risk of stroke. He also has COPD. My question is how long do you think he has left to live? And what should I expect going forward? I can’t ask the doctors as mom is always with me and dad and mom never talk about “those things “  how can I tell my mom to prepare for his death??  I also believe my mom has the beginning of altzimers (been through that journey with my partners mom) please can you help me. Dawn

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    Hi Dawn,

    It's very difficult to say - My mum was admitted to hopsital around this time last year with secondary cancer in her Spine . The Consultant at that time said she only had weeks left and she last just over another 80 days, granted she was still alert at this point and able to hold a conversation, so their estimate was way out.

    You'll know the end is near when he stops talking completely and then struggles to stay awake at all which then of course means he wont be eating or drinking.

    Once they remove his IV Drip, it's probably a matter of days.

    Thoughts are with you at this time I know how difficult it can be 

  • Hi Dawn007 and thank you for your post.

     I'm sorry to read about your dad’s situation. This must be a difficult time for all the family.

    Unfortunately, it is difficult to predict what will happen to an individual as cancer behaves differently in each person.

    No one can really say how long someone may live with stage 4 prostate cancer, as their outlook will depend on several factors related to their disease, and predicting it is quite difficult. Prognosis is really a question best answered by your dad’s hospital team because they are familiar with all his medical details and will know much more about his individual situation.

    Everyone copes with a cancer diagnosis differently; there is no one right way to deal with it. Maybe your parents way to deal with it is not to ask too many questions.

    Right now, it’s important to support him while also taking care of yourself. Supporting someone with cancer can be very emotionally draining, and you need support too. 

    The hospital where your dad is being treated may have a cancer information and support centre, sometimes these are run by the hospital or Macmillan Cancer Support.  There may also be a Maggies Centre where you and your mum and dad can go, to speak to someone and get some support. Both these centres may also provide benefits advice.

    They might also have the opportunity to discuss the topic of your father's deteriorating health with your mother.

    Also, your dad may have a clinical nurse specialist (CNS) who is part of the medical team caring for your dad. They provide information and support and will know about any other local help that will be useful for your dad.

    Additionally, you could consider reaching out to the Alzheimers Society for guidance on how to assist your mother in obtaining a diagnosis, and they may also have advice on how  to converse with your mother regarding  your father's deteriorating health.

    It would also be worth speaking with your dad’s hospital team to see what services they can offer him in the community.

    We have information on the different types of support at home  that can be put in place to help your dad be more comfortable.

    You can ask for him to be referred to his local community palliative care nurses who are experts at managing symptoms as well as providing emotional support.

    I hope this reply helps in some way. 

    Please get back to us if you need any more information or support.  You may find it helpful to talk things through with one of the nurses on our helpline.  The number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5 pm Monday to Friday.

     Kind regards

    Tina

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