Hi Scorch,

Sorry to be blunt, but is unlikely the consultant made this decision, more likely your Mum opted for do nothing after being given the options. I know from experience how difficult that can be to deal with, especially if you weren’t able to attend her consultations to ensure your Mum was genuinely making an informed decision. My Mum’s own decision took a while for my brothers to accept. She told me that after three years of chemo, surgery and radiotherapy, she simply didn’t have the energy to take any more. Unfortunately, she hadn’t had that conversation with my two brothers - just me, Dad and my sister. 

Estimates of survival times only really work for large numbers of patients, they are pretty useless at individual patient level as us  patients and our cancers are all individuals and there are so many variables.

3 to 4 years sounds possible, if not probable, it largely depends on how slowly or quickly the cancer grows. 

I hope that, as a family, you find a way through this.

Best wishes,
Dave

Hi Scorch,

Sorry to be blunt, but is unlikely the consultant made this decision, more likely your Mum opted for do nothing after being given the options. I know from experience how difficult that can be to deal with, especially if you weren’t able to attend her consultations to ensure your Mum was genuinely making an informed decision. My Mum’s own decision took a while for my brothers to accept. She told me that after three years of chemo, surgery and radiotherapy, she simply didn’t have the energy to take any more. Unfortunately, she hadn’t had that conversation with my two brothers - just me, Dad and my sister. 

Estimates of survival times only really work for large numbers of patients, they are pretty useless at individual patient level as us  patients and our cancers are all individuals and there are so many variables.

3 to 4 years sounds possible, if not probable, it largely depends on how slowly or quickly the cancer grows. 

I hope that, as a family, you find a way through this.

Best wishes,
Dave

Dear admins - there’s a typo on my post - it should read “for my brothers to accept”. 
If possible, please amend and remove this request.
Thanks
Dave

Hi Dave, 

Thank you for your reply. I appreciate you being blunt because I can only go by what my mum and step dad told me. To be honest, if my mum made that decision, I can accept it and understand. I don't want her to suffer. I spoke to my GP because I was struggling and needed support. He was very honest with me, he took the information I gave him regarding her health normally and her symptoms and told me that her prognosis is poor. My stepdad said she has lost her appetite and I know she is sleeping more. My GP said, from experience, he would suggest it would be 12-14 months. 

I know it's going to be very hard but that I will get through this. To a certain extent, I have to do what's best for me and do only what I can cope with. My GP made me realise that because of my mental health. It' s not easy to navigate unknown waters but it is easier now I have support.

Thank you for your honesty,

Lisa

Hi Lisa,

I can only emphathise with your situation and the frustration we all feel when we realise that whatever we do won’t change the outcome. 

All we can try to do is make our loved one’s final months free of unnecessary stress, make happy memories together and help deliver their choice of end of life experience. 

It won’t be easy, especially as we all go through anticipatory grief, but somehow we all seem to get through this in our own ways - however impossible that seems at the time. 

Best wishes
Dave