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Unsure if someone is lying about cancer

Ralfy08
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I no from the title this is an absolutely horrendous thing to even think but I'm so lost and confused and don't no what to do. My cousin was diagnosed with prostate cancer just over 3 years ago. He initially had treatment but wouldn't go into detail however then stopped as he said he didn't want the treatment anymore. At the time he was diagnosed he had a lot of family drama going on and he had done something bad. He also told his gf at the time he had cancer and she got back together with him and allowed contact with their daughter again as due to previous dv this has stoped before the cancer happened. 
I do no he had something wrong as his mum said he had a colestomy bag. However my cousin is a drug addict and alcoholic and this has never changed even throughout treatment. 
He never lost his hair (which I no doesn't always happen) and he wasn't sick, nor lost weight and still carried on working. My auntie at the time (his mum) had been diagnosed with breast cancer and she sadly lost her battle last year, but my auntie had all the treatment and was extremely sick and struggled. 
My cousin eventually attacked his then gf and was taken to Court and in the court paperwork the gf put that social services found no evidence of him having cancer and just used it to have access to his daughter, however I don't no if this is actually the truth or if she made it up nor do I no if anyone is aloud to lie on paperwork given to the court. 
my cousin told everyone last year that if he didn't have surgery he would be dead in 1 year but if he did have surgery he wouldn't be able to have intercource again. He choice not to have the surgery but is still fine and won't mention the cancer to anyone even if they try bringing it up. 
his just started seeing a new girl and has spoke about his cancer to her and told her his very sick and only has a few years left as it's spread to his lymph nodes. My cousin isn't the most intelligent person so if this isn't true I don't no how he knows so much about cancer but I'm really not sure what to believe. I have tried to support and help him as much as I can but he just shuts me out. My cousin is only 36 and still does everything he did throughout all of this. Please can someone offer me some advice of this and prostate cancer. Thank you 

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    Not here to say whether he's lying or not because it sounds too complex a situation to make that call. What i will say, and you touched upon it slightly yourself, not everyone is sick on treatment. Not all treatment is equal, and not everyone reacts to the drugs the same as the next person. As for looking sick, again, looks aren't everything.  Over the last 3 years i have met a lot of people, people who are also terminal, that look the picture of health on the outside. So that's not really a gauge either. Some people just simply have no symptoms.

    As for the court case, if the judge didn't request a report, then an illness doesn't need to be declared. But this is part of the complexity with your story, there are no right or wrong answers without you knowing the proper details.

    What little i do know about prostate cancer, it can be a very slow growing cancer. Even the same cancers can come in different types. Some are very slow growing, some are very aggressive. Iirc, a lot of guys live long lives after a prostate diagnosis. Some even die with prostate cancer, not from prostate cancer.

    You personally, and because you aren't down as a legal guardian or have any sort of guardianship, you are never going to know for the foreseeable future. Normally with a direct partner (wife/husband/gf/bf) they can ask to see letters and if the person refuses all advances, then it's easy enough to deduct from their actions. But you aren't in that position, unfortunately.

  • Hello Raly08 and thanks for your post,

    I am sorry to hear about this situation but it is very difficult for the nurses to get involved with a family dispute and if your cousin does not want to share his medical condition I am afraid that there is very little that you can do.

    Every cancer is very different and treatment is dependent on the type of cancer.

    Prostate cancer is very rare at your cousins age but I really can't add any more to this discussion.

    Hopefully over time your cousin will be able to tell you more.

    I wish you all the best,

    Catherine

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