Cancer Research UK main site

Just living with constant confusion and not understanding

Lisalou24
Offline

Hello - so my Mum’s cancer is actually breast cancer secondaries in the stomach and (I forget the exact terminology) cancer cells in the colon. She had primary breast cancer 7 years ago. 

She has a mole on her forearm that is now causing concern as it’s raised, bleeding and itchy so she is now having this explored. Could this actually be more cancer - skin cancer - in her arm? 

She’s now been told after her latest CT scan that she has a thickened colon lining and so has to have a colonoscopy. At 82, all of this is a lot. 

I suppose I want to know if this is how cancer progresses? I work overseas and to and fro (my brother and his wife are golden) and I honestly can’t work out what is happening with all of this which is adding to my anxiety. 

I need a blunt explanation as to how it develops, what to expect, whether this skin thing and colon lining thing are all part of the same thing. 

Her chemo has been reduced by 50% as she simply could t tolerate what she was on. 

sorry - it’s all rambling and I do feel like a ball of stress. 

thanks a lot. 

  • Offline

    Hello Lisalou24, and first of all, I am so sorry for what your Mum and you are going through.  You asked for a blunt answer, so here it is:  Yes, this is how cancer progresses.  I don't know whether or not your Mum has skin cancer or colon cancer, but frankly I wouldn't be surprised.  At this stage of the disease, the cancer starts to travel everywhere.  I am sorry if I have been TOO blunt in my reply, but I feel that you deserve to know the truth.  Once again, so sorry, and my thoughts are with you and your Mum at this awful time, x

  • Offline in reply to Blue-girl

    Thanks a lot. And yes, I really would prefer people to be blunt - including medics, but I kinda feel that they hold stuff back. That might be unfair of me - and I know everybody is different and some people prefer a less direct approach. 

    I’ve tried researching online too but then become bogged down with medical terminology that confuses me. 

    thank you. I appreciate your reply. 

  • Hello Lisalou, and thank you for posting.

    I am sorry to hear about everything that Mum is going through. She is having a rough time and this is incredibly stressful for you all. Unfortunately I am not sure how helpful we are going to be as we are not part of her team. 

    It is difficult to know if this bleeding mole is skin cancer, but once it is assessed the doctors will know what it is and what to do. It might not be anything to do with her breast cancer diagnosis, but a separate thing that might have just happened at the same time.

    I am afraid I also do not know what the thickening of her bowel is, but further investigation would give answers and whether this has anything to do with the other secondaries (metastases) that she has in her stomach and colon.

    It is so difficult when loved ones are going through health problems. Particularly when there is distance involved. It might be good for your mum or brother to organise a phone call or email exchange with her doctor once they have all their information. Then you are hearing from those who are looking after her.

    Secondary breast cancer does mean that cancer can appear in other parts of the body, and as it does the doctors will assess your mum and adjust the treatment plan according to how she is doing. There is uncertainty and it is unpredictable, but talking to her doctor or even her Breast Care Nurse (BCN) may help you a little. I hope you and your brother have support and your workplace have been understanding at this time.

    Take care Lisalou and do get back to us if Mum gets more information that you want to go through. If you are over and want to call the helpline to go through anything the number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040. The lines are open from 9 am till 5 pm, Monday to Friday.

    Sarah.

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.