Susan206,

Sorry to hear about your mum.  1 month ago mum was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer due to her poor health & reaction to chemo years ago she's being offered a low dose of 1 drug chemo.  

These are averages only, but mum was told she has 6 months without treatment or extra 4 months with chemo.

We have oncology appointment today to advise her decision.

She's going to fight, cause we're not ready to loose her, I'm 45 & still need my mum.

Hello thank you for reply, I’m just lost to be honest and looking for answers. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. This life is so cruel at times 

Susan, I know how you feel, I'm so numb most of the time - I have to remain strong for my parents to help them through. Mum feels helpless because she's very short of breath & can't do housework so is a burden to dad & myself.  Told her she's no burden & to use her strength to fight this cancer to give us longer with her.

Best thing to help her is to be practical, get power of attorney, help her make a list of everything, her wants & wishes etc (amazon sell afterlife planners, what to do once I'm gone) - I know its not a nice thought process, but will help in longterm, then you can spend as much quality time with her as possible.

If anything like our family there is already arguments & I'm the one that will bear the brunt when she's gone, but I don't care - so long as she's happy now.

Hi Susan206 and thank you for your post,

I am sorry to learn of your mum's situation this must be a very difficult time for you and your family.

When the doctors plan treatment they will look at how far the cancer has spread (stage), how fast-growing it is (grade) and how well a person is generally. Whether or not any benefits of treatment will be outweighed by any potential side effects. You mentioned that the only option available to your mum is to have low-dose chemotherapy. It sounds like the aim of the treatment will be to shrink the tumour, slow down its growth and help with symptoms she may have. 

I appreciate the uncertainty of your mum's situation is very hard. It is worth knowing that a lot of people do manage chemotherapy and can cope with any side effects. Your mum will be assessed each time she has treatment to see how she is. It is likely after a few cycles of chemotherapy, she will have a scan to see how well she has responded to the treatment and whether or not further chemotherapy is advised. It is also worth knowing she can always stop the treatment at any time.

You are asking very important questions which unfortunately as a nurse-led service not involved in your mum's care we cannot answer. However, I wondered if it is possible with your mum's permission to discuss these with her specialist and or specialist nurse (CNS), as they will be able to give you more of an idea as they know her situation.

It may also be worth asking if your mum can be referred to the palliative care team, as they would be able to give you advice about how they could manage your mum's symptoms if she chose not to have chemotherapy.

I hope this helps a little. If you would like more information or support you may find it more helpful to talk things through with one of the nurses on our helpline. The number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday.

Take care,

Best wishes

Jemma

Hello thank you for replying not sure on the grade but I know it’s stage 4 and yes the low dose is to try shrink the cancer.yes she will be having more scans after so many sessions. i do have permission to speak with her nurses and specialist. 
my mum seems well in herself just gets tired more than she did do.