Hi

My Mum was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer 10 months ago at the age of 83

She completed her course of chemo & radiotherapy in May. Since then she has been up & down in terms of depression, sickness, loss of appetite & tiredness. My 84 year old Dad is her main carer and she is also in receipt of attendance allowance which despite numerous suggestions they are reluctant to employ a cleaner/home help so this is putting undue pressure on my dad who has his own health issues. 

I no longer live close to them I am keen for them to come and spend some time with me for a change of scenery and to give my Dad a rest. However I am meeting resistance from them to come and stay with me, the main reason are the length of journey, which would be 7 hours by car, obviously we would drive, and also if my Mum became unwell she is a long way from the hospital were she is receiving her treatment.

My questions are as follows:

Am I being unrealistic that a 7 hour car journey is acceptable for parents in their 80s?

If my Mum became unwell whilst staying with us would she be able to receive treatment at a hospital close to where I live i.e. would they be able to access her medical records to then provide her with the treatment she requires?

I worry that her diagnosis/treatment has become all consuming and there is little joy left in both their lives. I don't know how long she has left but want to ensure that it can be as enjoyable as possible.

Thanks for any support/suggestions you can offer