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Mum has stage 4 cancer- Should I go back to uni?

alexander22
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Hello. I'm 19 years old and about to go into my second year of uni. My mum has just been diagnosed with stage four liver/bowel cancer and I'm not sure if I should go back to uni this year. My uni is only an hour and a half away from home, but Im worried that if I go back I won't be spending valuable time with my mum correctly. My parents have put emphasis on how important it is to keep studying, but I just don't think im going to be able to focus as well I know I can. I'm so scared about the idea of wasting time away from my mum. I have already signed my tenancy for next years accommodation, and paid my first months rent. It's going to be a big financial burden if I don't go, but im not sure if that matters in the grand scheme of things. Im just not sure what to do.

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  • Hi Alexander22,

    Thanks so much for getting in touch, I'm so sorry to hear about what is happening with your mum.

    Decisions like this can feel really overwhelming and it can be impossible to know what to do for the best.  Often when we receive news like this we can feel we have to make decisions very quickly.  Do you have a summer break where you can take time to think about what you would like to do?  

    Perhaps you could talk to your uni (maybe your personal tutor?) and explain the situation you are in.  They may have experience of supporting students who have had challenging situations in the past.  They will also have student support services where you could talk to someone if you wanted to, about everything that is happening.  Sometimes this can be helpful when you are trying to decide what is the best thing to do.

    There is some information here about emotions you may be feeling at the moment and ways to get support.

    If you want to talk things through with one of the nurses on our helpline, please do call us. Our number is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday.

    Best wishes, 

    Rachel

Reply

  • Hi Alexander22,

    Thanks so much for getting in touch, I'm so sorry to hear about what is happening with your mum.

    Decisions like this can feel really overwhelming and it can be impossible to know what to do for the best.  Often when we receive news like this we can feel we have to make decisions very quickly.  Do you have a summer break where you can take time to think about what you would like to do?  

    Perhaps you could talk to your uni (maybe your personal tutor?) and explain the situation you are in.  They may have experience of supporting students who have had challenging situations in the past.  They will also have student support services where you could talk to someone if you wanted to, about everything that is happening.  Sometimes this can be helpful when you are trying to decide what is the best thing to do.

    There is some information here about emotions you may be feeling at the moment and ways to get support.

    If you want to talk things through with one of the nurses on our helpline, please do call us. Our number is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday.

    Best wishes, 

    Rachel

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