Hello Sianny.  Your post hit a raw nerve with me, because it is so much like what happened with me and my Dad.  My parents got divorced when I was a teenager, and for many years I never saw my Dad, we had never had a very good father-daughter relationship, and there never seemed much point in staying in contact with him.  When my mum died of cancer, I truly felt like an orphan as I was still quite young.  A few years later, completely by chance, me and my Dad were re-united.  What I didn't realise at the time was that he was very ill and would only have 6 weeks left to live, but I am so grateful for those few weeks we had together, because the strange thing is, even though he hadn't been much of a father to me, I still loved him, and his death devastated me.  Sianny, there are no short-cuts with grief, and the sad reality is that your daughter can not be protected from what is coming.  There is a very high possibility that her Dad will soon die, and as her Mother you want to protect her from this awful pain, but you can't.  The only thing you can do is be there for her just as you have always been, and let her know that it is okay to cry and let her emotions out.  There is never a 'right' time to lose a parent but it is dreadful that your daughter might be losing her Father at such a crucial point in her life.  Sianny, your daughter will get through this.......I am not saying she will get over it........my  Dad has been gone nearly 20 years and my mum died 25 years ago and I still get days when I cry over them.......but I promise you, your girl will get through it because she has a loving and caring Mother in you.  Good luck to both of you, Violet, x

Hi Violet. Thank you so much for your reply. I feel that what you have said is much of how I feel. I can only support her & be there for her as always. Glad you had some time with your dad. X

Hello 

What a lovely wise response from Violetegirl. 

I wonder if there are any welfare or counselling services that your daughter can access through the university that might be helpful for her?  I think it is certainly worth suggesting this to her.  We also have a section on our website about getting help for yourself when someone you care about or know has cancer here 

I hope these suggestion are of use.  The community here on Cancer Chat are a wonderful, supportive group of people it might be worth suggesting that she considers joining.  We are here for family and friends as well as people with cancer.

Take care

Martin