Husband's Recurrance In Bowel Cancer

 

Hi Everyone!

 

I am new to this forum but not to the CR site as I make a regular donation. We just got the devestating news on Tuesday of this week that my husband's bowel cancer has recurred after his successful operation to remove the tumour and be cancer free back in January this year (just about 6 months ago). It was an absolute `hammer blow` when the surgeon told us on Tuesday and since then I have been an absolute mess! I am going back to the way I was before his initial diagnosis last July in that I can't now focus on anything other than this, I feel sick at the thought of eating because my stomach is constanly doing sommersaults but just force myself to eat.  Sleeping is not a problem but I've been waking up the last couple of mornings just feeling like I don't want to get out of bed and takes a little time for me to do that. I am on tablets for depression for a illness that causes this of my own and last year my GP increased my dosage because I explained to him over the phone what was going on and he said if I felt better I could reduce the dosage back to original one but unfortunately now I will have to keep it as it is but don't want to increas it further.  The tumour has come back in his stomach lining and some is showing in his pelvis. He met up with his surgeon back in May for his follow-up appointment after surgery and she did blood tests with him and then about 2 or 3 weeks after that we got a letter to say that his CEA markers had risen and the CT scan that had been scheduled for later this year was being brought forward. He went for the CT scan and we thought nothing more about it and then we got a phone call at home last Thursday to say they wanted to see him in person at the hospital. The alarm bells began to ring then because usually if they phone you its something bad and it was we got the news on Tuesday and the surgeon seemed so upset about the whole thing as it was herself who performed his operation. She said surgery is not an option this time because of where the tumour is there's `tubes` round about or something she said and I don't know if there will be complications in doing surgery. I was trying my best to take everything in but all was just a daze. What she did say was that the tumour is `slow growing` so he's looking at years here not days, weeks or months and looking at all the information it seems these types of tumours are `low grade cancer`? would I be right in saying this? She said he's not going anywhere anytime soon and it could be years well into the future before any adverse effects show. We now have to see his oncologist in 2 weeks time to get a management plan set up which is probably going to involve chemotherapy. When he went through his first treatment to shrink his tumour they did chemoradiation which consisted of courses of radiotherapy and chemotherapy in tablet form which he could take at home. He had no adverse effects when doing this. So hopefully he'll go down this route again if its viable. The surgeon said that the chemotherapy may shrink the tumour right down so there may be a chance surgery maybe an option again at a later stage. After his first surgery when we met with the oncologist I asked if he would need any further courses of chemo or radiotherapy and he said no. His words were along the lines of  `If no treatment is presently needed, they don't do or start anything at that time`. I just wonder now if he had extra courses of chemo or radiotherapy it may killed off any of these stray micro cells that can get missed and are hard to detect. I am a little angry at that but the oncologist is the person who knows best so you put your trust in them. Ironically its my husband who is trying to stay positive and look on the bright side of things but I know he's `scared` and all sorts will be running through his head when he's sitting on his own. He is also type 2 diabetic so he has this as well as his age (68) going against him. His surgeon was not very happy either when she found out that his blood sugar levels were not being monitored since he came out of hospital in January. The blood tests had also shown that these had shot up also and when he was in hospital his blood sugars were being tested every other day. So she was writing to our GP practice immediately to get this sorted out. My husband has lost some weight too but I think it's the stress of all this. It all started after he got the letter about his CEA markers he just stopped eating or ate very little but his surgeon told him because of his high blood sugar levels its possible this has caused his weight to drop too because we never knew that high blood sugar levels can cause weight loss too. His eating habits have increased again though but whether this is through shock or denial its hard to tell.  I just feel confused, angry and scared that I'm now going to lose him but hopefully not for a good while yet. Hope you can help with some advice. 

Parents
  • Hello there and thanks for posting

    I am so sorry to hear your husbands cancer has come back and this must have come as such a shock to you both and appreciate you have questions.

    It sounds like the doctors are as surprised and as disappointed as you are with this news. From what you have said it seems like the surgery went well and the histology report showed all the cancer had been removed. Sadly as you say some microscopic cancer cells must have got through and already started to travel in the blood or lymphatic system where they began to grow.

    Of course no one wanted to see your husband back here again so soon needing more treatment but try and hang in there for now and see what the oncologist has to say. As the surgeon has suggested chemotherapy is likely to be the choice of treatment for now and hopefully this will shrink down the tumours enough where more surgery may be possible. If not hopefully the tumours will respond well the the treatment and will control and halt the cancer in it's tracks for a long long time.

    As you say slow growing usually means 'low grade' and the specialist team involved in your husbands care will be wanting to throw everything they have at this to give your husband the best possible outcome possible.

    A patient's diabetes can be turned upside down by cancer treatment and Diabetes UK alongside Macmillan have produced an information pack about this here. I hope your husband sees someone about this soon so they can get on top of stabilising his blood sugars and monitoring him through this next course of treatment.

    Do also talk to your doctor about how this news is affecting you and the way you are feeling as they may be able to alter your medications or suggest other ways to support and help you through this time.

    We have a section about taking care of yourself when a loved one has cancer here that you might find useful to take a look at.

    Times like this are tough and I hope you also have other friends and family around you to lend an ear or a hand when they can.

    Please get back if you have more questions but do also talk through any questions or uncertainties you have with the team involved. Our helpline is also open Mon-fri 9-5 and you are welcome to call the nurses if you prefer on 0808 800 4040.

    Best wishes to you both

    Take care

    Naomi

  • Thanks For your message Naomi!

     

    I have done nothing but contact discussion forums since finding out about James' s recent diagnosis. MacMillan have been great and a few I have spoke to on there have been very inspirtational as some have actually gone through the same issues as we are having now and are `still here` so there maybe something in that that it's `not the end` and how a few have said `I can do this` with him. I feel a bit more upbeat about it after reading those posts but then I forget and think I'm nnot supposed to feel upbeat just now. I just want to stop feeling like this. It's a feeling of `deja-vu` because it was exactly at this time last year I was exactly the same way but at that time we didn't even have the cancer diagnosis and found out on the 1st July about the diagnosis exactly one year ago this coming Friday. We had hoped to celebrate that wee milestone of when he found out and then beat it 6 months later or so we thought so that's not happening. Ironically after we found out last year about the cancer I felt as though a weight had been lifted because then we knew what we were dealing with and because I think the surgeon said it was `treatable` because the tumor  was localised and hadn't spread anywhere and that apparently it had been lying there dormant for 3 or 4 years without causing any symptoms. This time I'm not so calm though because she has said they can't operated just now whether it means can't operate ever I don't know because I was trying to take everything in she was telling me but it was all just a daze. I did hear her though telling my husband it is `slow growing` and we're looking at years into the future before anything adverse starts to show. I've been looking at info on bowel/colorectal cancer and it does say  it is one of the `slower growing and treatable cancers` is this right?? It has shown up in his stomach lining and in his pelvis I don't know what type of cancer that is now or if it is still known as bowel cancer, local recurrance cancer, or regional recurrance cancer as I've been reading about. I'm hoping the oncologist can go down the route of chemotherapy tablets again as he did not have any adverse side effects taking these the first time along with radiotherapy treatement (chemoradiation) and both treatments did shrink the tumour and surgery was able to go ahead as scheduled. But then I am thinking that this maybe a different kind of cancer and more invasive chemo may be needed. We see the oncologist on the 7th July- a week this coming Thursday and it just feels like waiting `forever`. What I am also scared about is if the cancer spreads further within that time. I asked the surgeon- not oncologist- this the last time. We did a phone consultation the last time because we were actually away on holiday and she was about to go on holiday and she said for the fact the tumour had not gone anywhere in 3 or 4 years it was very highly unlikely it was going to go anywhere anytime soon. Is it possible to spread while waiting to see specialists?? I'm so sorry to be a nuisance my head it just going round in circles. James- my husband ironically is the one holding it all together. To look at him you would think there was nothing wrong with him but I know in his head he will be sh****g himself. I just sit and wonder the cliche `Why me/us`.

  • Thank you for your reply David.

    Yes I do feel slightly more positive now than I did a few months back. I won't say that they hope to cure it this time because I know that can never be guaranteed we never gave it a 2nd thought after the first time it would come back again- and so soon! If they can get it to a stage where it can give him a decent quality of life then that's enough for me. Mentally it is getting him he tells me this that it is constantly on his mind which is understandable. We have the CT scan coming up in 2 days and as I said this is going to be very scary for us both in what this throws up and I know this is praying on his mind too but as I say any progress is a bonus and we remain `cautiously optomistic`. We're a little bit in `limbo` at the moment because we don't know if there will be a 5th or 6th cycle. His CT is this Thursday (27th October) and when he got his meds away with him at his infusion last Friday they usually give him a blood form away with him to hand into the GP surgery when gets his bloods done there during his `down week` the week he gets no treatment at all but they were not going to give him this form this time and I asked about it and the wee nurse said because he was getting a CT I think he was going to get assessed from there if any further chemo sessions were required. She gave us the form in anycase and I have contacted the oncologist's secretary to find out if he still needs to go for that. The routine is that he goes to get bloods taken on his down week then the day after he gets that done we see the oncologist then the next day he gets his infusion. So really don't know what to make of that and lots of self doubts going on again. Will keep you updated. Take Care. 

     

    Vicky

  • My husband just finished 5th CAPOX cycle. It was the first tough one, just like you said, David! :cry:

    One more to go on 8.11.

    Next week we need to finalize the surgeon. APR with permanent stoma.

    Vicky what surgery did your husband have previously? You said it was all removed...

  • Hello Vicky and thanks for updating us,

    I think waiting for any scan to assess how treatment is going can be nerve wracking, so I can well imagine this is an unsettling time. Coping with uncertainty is challenging and it is hard not to overthink things, try and take it one step at a time.

    Give us a call if you ever want to talk, our number is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and we are around weekdays, 9-5.

    Best wishes,

    Julia

  • Hi Lucullan!

     

    Jay was initially diagnosed with his bowel cancer in July 2021 and shortly after that he got a bowel resection operation to get the stoma in place. He was in hospital for 3 weeks but that was only because the surgeon who was originally supposed to do the op went off with Covid and other than send Jay home with the likely event that another bed would not be there for him to come back to, they kept him in until a surgeon could be found. His stoma is permanent and they thought that they would be able to reverse it but unfortunately that's not happening but he's accepted it and has learned to live with it and can change it himself ok. Just means carrying a small bag around with him all the time when he goes out incase of a `blow out` which has happened from time to time when it `misbehaves`:laugh: He got the operation to remove the tumour in January this year I don't actually know what kind of operation that was but we were told that the tumour was localised in that it hadn't spread anywhere- in the 3 or 4 years it had been lying dormant just sitting there- and wasn't likely to go anywhere before the operation.The operation went well and as far as the surgeon and her team were concerned they had got it all. Unfortunately when he went for a follow up appointment in May this year with his surgeon she did some blood tests and a few weeks later we got a letter to say that his CEA markers had elevated and that they were sending him for the CT scan which had been scheduled for him later this year and this unfortunately showed that the cancer had returned more or less in the same place and 5 or 6 months since they were convinced they got rid of it. We were absolutely devestated and so was the surgeon as she had to break the news to us and now as they say the rest is history and here we are fighting again. Jay didnt get any further sessions of chemo or radiotherapy after his operation because they said everything was clear and they were not going to do anything that wasn't necessary. He has been going through cycles of Oxaliplatin and Capecitabine and just started his 4th cycle. All the tests they have done inbetween his cycles blood tests etc have come back normal and his liver and kidney functions are good too he's been told. He goes for a CT scan on Thursday and this is going to be very worrying for us as this is how we found out the cancer had come back and its when they find things you didn't think were there. Apparently very small micro cells can escape and get through and form again and they think apparently that is what happened to Jay although I have no doubt they did their best to get it all. So we are remaining `cautiously optimistic` that they'll get some kind of results with this treatment. It may be at the stage where it may not be curable, but manageable as we were told there is slight metastitis there (slight spread) so who knows. This not maybe the same for your husband though as everyone is different so please don't take what I am telling you as gospel and please don't get worried. I wish you well with your journey. Take Care. 

     

    Vicky

  • Thank you for your reply, Vicky! I know cancer journey is a very individual journey for each patient. They don't actually have answers to why someone's spread and someone's doesn't. There is a lot about cancer they don't know ‍♀️.

     

    All the best with further treatment. 

    We started with chemo radiation, completed that then moved on to CAPOX - then finishing it with surgery. Fingers crossed alll goes well. 

  • Hi Julia!

    Thank you. Yes it is a bit worrying and I know it is getting to Jay as it gets closer he will not come into bed right away at night preferring to sit up a while without the TV on or the lights off and I know its turning over and over in his head. He'll be like this for a couple of weeks yet because we hope to get results of the test on the 10th November when we meet with the oncologist again. For the fact that we are getting the feedback that his liver and kidney function is normal and that his blood tests are normal too gives us some encouragement but its just this what they will find with the CT. I know it might be hard to say, but as a nurse do you think that it sounds as though things are going in the right direction? Thanks.

     

    Vicky.

  • Good Luck and Best Wishes to the both of you Lucullan!

    Take Care

    Vicky xx

  • Hello Vicky and thank you for getting back in touch with us.

    I am sorry to hear about what you and your husband have been though. I can imagine that this is a worrying time. I do think that you will need to wait for the scan results before knowing what the situation is for him.

    Waiting for the results of scans and investigations can be really difficult. So, if you can do this try not to think too much about what it could be - easier said than done. I'm afraid that nothing can help you understand what the results will be yet. 

    Please get back to us if you need any more information or support. 

    Take care,

    Caroline

  • Thank you so much!

    Yes he's not had a good day today. He says he feels very tired but then again this could be the chemo starting to really kick in with him. He actually felt it last Friday after his infusion of Oxaliplatin. He doesn't usually feel this bad but am I right in thinking as these cycles go on, the harder it can get? He is taking the 10 Capecitabine tablets a day also (5 in the morning 5 at night) these I believe are the full dose as with the Oxilaplatin. They upped these dosages for him as he was tolerating them well but just wonder now if they are starting to work against him in his words `he just feels like a bag of ****.' He has his CT scan tomorrow too so don't know that this as I've said already could be praying on his mind. We went to see his stoma nurse this morning for a check up and she is pleased with him there that everything with the stoma is in working order and he doesn't need anymore appointments and from now it will be just when and if he needs to contact her about anything. He's gone to bed now for a nap best place for him when he feels like this. Thanks again. 

    Vicky

  • Hi, just wondering how you guys got on? 

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