I'm not stupid

So I have this friend of 11 years, except 2 years apart, she been back in my life for 2 years now after following me to a new area, I don't want to think it about anyone but I'm so certain she's lying about her cervical cancer, she did have cells about 5 years ago that got laser treatment but now she says it's full cancer but nothing makes sense, she has got young children including a 1yr old which she says the pregnancy stopped the cancer*, she had a hysterectomy keyhole surgery and getting to the hospital and getting back was about 2 hours*, she has a line in her chest*, she has chemo at home on a drip for 5 hours, hanging the bag on her bed and the nurse sets up and leaves*, she was on pills which once a week she would have to go to the doctor's to take* her surgery got delayed for over a year due to covid* I could go on with more things she's said but everywhere I've put a star is where I think she's told a lie, please someone help me, she's sucking in all my new friends and I feel taking advantage of their kindness and generosity 

  • Hello and thanks for posting,

    It is always difficult for us to comment much, when we are asked about certain scenario's.

    Certainly, it would be pretty unlikely to receive chemotherapy at home, if you are physically able to get to hospital to attend day care to have this. I'm not sure about needing to go to the doctors to take pills either. 

    We do have information on treatments for cervical cancer on our website link here, which you might find useful,

    www.cancerresearchuk.org/.../cervical-cancer

    Maybe you can ask your friend some very direct questions, and see how she responds to them.

    I hope that this is helpful for you, 

    Kind regards,

    Vanda

  • Thank you, yes she is very able to, to the point, as soon as the "5 hours" are done, she's up and going to the shop or doing the school run, I have tried asking her but it's always the same, she gets emotional and says she doesn't really know because she's always had to do it on her own and it goes straight over her head and then never gives a fully straight answer and tells different people different things.                                          Also would the chemo be gravity or pump fed and would the nurse leave straight away and then do a video call with her so she can flush her line that got blocked?

     

     

  • hi any sort of hysterectomy keyhole or not invovles you staying in hospital for a minimum of 2 days, your post made it sound like she was in and out and home in an afternoon, even with covid and them trying to catch up this wouldnt be something that the NHS would allow

     

  • Hi

    I’ve been through cervical cancer and I would say without hesitation that she’s lying in my opinion.  

    Chemotherapy is not done at home for this, and each infusion is a number of different things-not one bag for 5 hours. it can be several different bags of different things.  You don’t have chemo tablets weekly at the doctor. You don’t usually have keyhole surgery when cervical cancer is involved, it would be open abdominal, but there is no hysterectomy where you would be in and out of hospital in 2 hours. 

    I would ask her for the name of the chemotherapy for a start! I suspect she won’t be able to remember. There seems so much wrong with her “story” it’s hard to know where to start. 

  • Yep that's exactly what I was saying she said she got in taxi at 10 to 9, surgery at 9 and home couple of hours later, says she discharged herself 

  • Hi, 

    I'm no expert on cervical cancer but this behaviour does certainly sound pretty shifty.

    I'm a psychologist and if she is lying about this then would suggest she has some serious issues and needs help. I am not all condoning her behaviour at all and as someone who has recently had a diagnosis it is particularly difficult to comprehend. 

    I hope you get to the truth x

     

  • Thank you, this is brilliant, exactly what I needed, there really are so many holes in her story, more than what I've listed, it's getting beyond a joke now, did you ever have a line put in? Just wondering if it would be visible or leave a scar when removed? Being that she has dependant children, if she was to refuse treatment and therefore risk her life and potentially neglect her children, wouldn't the hospital have a duty of care to call social for support (she's a single parent so the kids have no one else), would she be given alternate treatment between drip and pills, randomly. Sorry to ask so much and I hope you have kicked cancers butt. It just makes me sick thinking that someone could fake that and I have no real proof. Thank you 

  • This is the line I was thinking and praying to be honest, I've had loads of people asking and telling me things about her and they've wanted to have a go which I understand but I've got everyone to back off a bit because I'm worried she has Munchausens and desperately needs help but I have no idea how to do that, I've asked her outright about the cancer but that didn't get me anywhere

  • Hi again

    i will send you a friend request so that we can discuss privately, if that’s ok. I think that would be better than on the main forum. If you are happy to accept the request, I can tell you much more about why I believe this story isn’t true and advise on the questions you should ask and what honest replies should be.

  • Yes that sounds perfect thank you