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Breast cancer. Fear of it spreading before treatment.

ClaireBee
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I've been diagnosed with breast cancer this week but having MRI at the weekend to check the size etc (they think about 2cm) before removal and any other treatment. According to ultrasound (no other tests yet) my lymph nodes are clear so they don't think it has spread but I'm terrified that it has or will have by the time treatment is started. This tumour has appeared some time in the last ten months after a clear mammogram so I'm afraid it's really fast growing and will spread. The consultant used "hopefully" it will be fairly straightforward and a more simple surgery. I'm filled with fear constantly that that it will have spread and that I'm going to die, if not in the next three months then in five years and be living with cancer and various treatments until I succumb. I am totally horrified that this has happened to me. I don't get the results of the MRI for nearly two weeks and I don't know how to cope with this hell. I really need some help. I'm not one for pills but feel I need medication to cope with all the fear. I just want someone to tell me it will be fine. I know I'll be having surgery and that's fine but I just want that to be the end of it. I don't know how I can get through this and also now worried I might get other problems as my blood pressure must be through the roof with the stress. 

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    Hi,

    I am in the same boat. I was diagnosed on the 25th. I'm waiting for an MRI and lymph node biopsy on the 2 feb. I wish I could turn my brain off. I'm petrified it's spread. Every ache I think is cancer. The waiting is unbearable. I'm sending you a big hug as we start this awful journey. Here's to getting to the other side. 

  • Offline in reply to agapanthus

    Hi Agapanthus,

    I hear you. I've started to get twinges in the "affected area" although the MRI results will say exactly how far this extends. Of course this could well be psychosomatic but it's quite unnerving. I'm suddenly feeling a lot more optimistic and able to cope but hope that that's not only because of the stress relieving medication I got from the GP (!). It has helped to talk to some lovely people on this forum. I'm just grateful for this window of relief but do actually think (hope) it might be a genuine shift in coming to terms with it. I get the MRI results and treatment plan in just over a week.

    C.

  • Offline in reply to ClaireBee

    Hi ClaireBee - I'm sorry you've had to join us on here. In case it helps, here is my story... I was diagnosed in August and then had two months (10 weeks) of scans and tests and consultations and waiting before surgery. I worried so much in the first three weeks that it had spread/ was spreading that I ended up with stress-induced backache (which of course I decided was the cancer spreading) bad enough to need prescription pain relief... of course it wasn't the cancer - it was all the anxiety. In hindsight I can see why all those tests were essential. The medical teams really are busy behind the scenes getting you to the point of treatment as fast as possible.... in the end I kept telling myself that they absolutely wanted me to beat this... quite apart from the altruistic/ compassionate motivation, logically, we only get more difficult, complicated and expensive as patients if it spreads, so even if they weren't the compassionate and caring souls that they are, the consultants and surgeons and nurses are still going to be doing everything they can to stop that spread from happening.

  • Offline in reply to notmyideaoffun

    Thank you. Yes, I can absolutely see your logic.

    I'm so appreciative of all the support on this forum. It really is making me feel better.

    Thank you so much.

    C.

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