hello,
im 22, my mum is 49 and has been diagnosed with grade 2 breast cancer, she will be having surgery next week then chemo. I am looking for a bit of guidance and support as am feeling pretty lost and my boyfriend and friends get freaked out whenever Ive spoken about it. My mum only has me and my sisters as family haven't spoken to us in years since my mum became mentally ill and became difficult to be around.
My mum has dementia and i am looking for any info on caring for someone with dementia and cancer as I cant seem to find anything about it except for people with cancer who then get dementia.
It is a difficult situation, although two doctors have suggested mum has dementia, she has never formally been assessed and diagnosed. My mum thinks she is fine (dementia wise) so refuses any medication. Although she has on many occasions had violent outbursts, been missing, threatened to kill herself and others she was never sectioned as she wasn't considered a risk (!) so we have never been able to get her any help. When we go to hospital regarding my mums cancer, staff speak to her as if shes fine and she just nods but i know she doesn't understand them as i have to retell her most things. The staff haven't picked up on this and im struggling to keep track of whats going on and inform mum correctly. My mum is also awful with money and has already pretty much spent her insurance money before getting it-what will she live on? I feel completely out of my depth. Im a carer too so you'd think i would be ok! But its very different when its your mum. Me and my sisters were already struggling to deal with my mums change in character, shes a completely different person to the wonderful mum who bought us up and although i still love her to bits, i miss the old her so so much. Now with mum having cancer I don't know what to make of it, she just cries and says shes going to die I don't know how to make it alright. If anyone can offer any words of wisdom it would be greatly appreciated xxx
