My lovely husband of nearly 29 years was recently diagnosed with a malignant ulcer in his duodenum (11 weeks ago). Things have moved very fast and he had a Whipple procedure on 13th July. It's a major operation involving removal of half the pancreas, gall bladder, duodenum and part of his stomach. To say I'm in shock is a massive understatement. I feel like the world has tipped on its side and I'm clinging on to the edge. We are both 55 and have always been fit and active; loved to travel and experience new things. We didn't expect this in a million years. The day before his op, he played 18 holes of golf as he'd not felt in the slightest bit ill, apart from some mild stomach ache. We are currently waiting for a follow-up appointment to discuss what comes next and are expecting some form of chemotherapy but we know nothing about how this will happen. It's all such a horrid nightmare. He was in hospital for almost 2 weeks and has lost about a stone and a half in weight. Thankfully, he's now eating a little and often and is his usual, positive self. It's breaking my heart to see him so frail and on so many drugs for one thing and another and I am so scared for the future. And I feel so guilty and inadequate for feeling so scared when everyone keeps telling me to 'stay strong' and 'be positive'. It's one of the worst possible cancers and although the surgeons were upbeat about how the op went (and believe they removed all the tumour) they also told us previously, that only a third of patients survive five years. How can I be strong and positive with that news in the back of my mind all the time? All I want to do is cry but of course, I cant do that as I'm busy being "strong"...
*** Just to add an update, we are now 12 sessions in - of double chemo (gemcitabine and Cisplatin)and have just had our 3nd monitoring MRI. Cannot believe that, after 11/44 lymph nodules involved, and a secondary that was discovered from a chest CT (in the liver) and then further multiple secondaries found in the liver, we’ve just been told that ALL the tumours have shrunk to the extent of being almost ‘invisible’. Long term prognosis is being pushed back past the original 12 months ‘worst case’ we were given. I think I’m in shock.
