On Monday was my call back appointment following my mammogram on 17 th December. I was told about the call back on 29 th December and haven’t slept much since . I was called through for the diagnostic mammogram and then sat in the waiting room . Whilst there I watched others and saw a nurse come out and tell someone it was all clear and they could go home. That was what I was expecting . I have no lumps and have been for regular checks etc . My name was called out and I followed a nurse into a room and realised I was going to have an ultrasound I momentarily went to pieces because I knew it was not going to be good news. After the ultra sound I had a biopsy done using the ultrasound to guide the consultant. They put a piece of titanium in my breast to mark the position of the cancer. Of course he didn’t say cancer what he said was it’s irregular in shape and worrying . I have an appointment for next Tuesday - I am absolutely petrified .My daughter is 8 moths pregnant and I was due to be her birthing partner . It wasn’t meant to be like this. I keep thinking what happens if it’s spread . I know I need to wait and try and be calm but I can’t . I haven’t told my son or my husband because I can’t deal with their upset and worry. I will tell them after Tuesday. I have told my daughter and a close friend but don’t want to share this yet. I think I am hoping that if no one knows then it’s less likely to be true. I have felt numb and overwhelmed. I feel physically sick most of the time so can’t eat .
