Terrified I have Bowel Cancer and feeling hopeless

Hi to anyone who reads this , I'm 27 and a mum to my 7 year old boy and since summer I've had bleeding with stool. I'm posting now because it's just happened again after 2 weeks of nothing when it had completely stopped and I was finally starting to think nothing bad was going to happen to me... I had 2 times where there was streaks of blood and some mucus covering the top of the stool, (its never been when I wiped) It wasn't mixed in with the stool and I thought as the stool was a bit hard it could of been a tear or something, I called gp who did bloods that were normal and then a physical exam and said it wasn't hemorroids or a tear, She referred me for a colonoscopy and said if it happened again to go to A&E with a sample - it happened again 3 weeks ago and I went to a&e, They said it wasn't an emergency so I was sent home after hours of waiting. This morning I've gone to the bathroom again and the stool looked normal ( I've been having a quick glance now and then before I flush just to make sure) but floating beside the stool was something i thought was just a piece of food but when I used tissue and picked it up it was actually mucus with blood, it looks like a mucusy red stringing vein and this is the first time its been separate from the stool, whats scaring me is if it was hemorroids or a tear it would be on the tissue when I wiped , If it was hemorroids then the gp would be able to feel it, they did blood tests for inflammation so if it was an ibd it would've shown, I'm just distraught. In 2017 I had a colonoscopy after am xray for another reason showed my bowel was thickened and they were going to check for colitis bu that seemed to be all clear so that would rule out something like ibd.. anything I've googled or read says that my symptoms can only mean the big C, and I've mylittle boy to think of , I've been so positive the past few months trying to just make myself beleive its all alright these things happen its something normal, but theres never anythinf when I wipe so it must be higher up..I lost my friend 2 years ago to melanoma and her 4 young babies were left without a mum so I know that the worst case scenario can happen. I did have a bit of diarrhoea yesterday , and then this morning I had slight cramps but felt a bit constipated,  although it happened easily enough the stool was a bit lumpy but I cant explain rationally to myself what other reason apart from Bowel Cancer would cause it to be floating next to it incased in mucus, All I'm thinking is how long its been going on for and if its something bad its been untreated..My nan died during the first lockdown with bowel cancer and it was awful, I just keep thinking the worst , I rang the consultant secretary who is suposoed to be doing my scope and she said that I could be lookig at a 9 month wait and she couldnt even see my referall on the system... I really feel like I cant cope with it anymore to wait to be told theres nothing a doctor can do and its too late ..how does it makes sense that the thing I fear the most - leaving my son without a mother is going to be caused by myself because I really can't do this anymore 

  • Hi hope you are both ok, currently having the same issues myself and it's awful! Im early 30th with a young child and it's just so hard to hold myself together right now in the unknown. Xx

  • Hi hope you are both ok, currently having the same issues myself and it's awful! Im early 30th with a young child and it's just so hard to hold myself together right now in the unknown. Xx

  • It's absolutely fantastic to have this wee space as an outlet to express some of your anxiety isn't it?

    I've been made feel like an idiot irl for even suggesting that there may be something seriously wrong, but it's only natural that you worry and feel scared over something like this. I'm finding the level of support I feel from chatting to others on here so beneficial right now.

    Wishing you all the best and I hope you get some positive answers soon x

  • Hi I was thinking of you over the weekend , Did you have your colonoscopy this weekend? I hope all was okay x 

  • Hi, thank you for thinking of me. No sign of anything like diverticular disease or colitis, colon perfectly healthy, but a large polyp in my rectum. Endoscopologist didn't remove it at the time because its a bit of a difficult one, but took 3 biopsies; 2 of it and one close to it it seemed. He's referred me over for a pelvic x-ray he said, because he did a digital examination after the colonoscopy and said he felt a mass or a fullness that he couldn't quite identify and so he just wanted to be thorough and get that checked out while things are being investigated. So at the moment just waiting on biopsy results (which should be within 3 weeks) and the letter for x-ray appointment. 

    The colonoscopy itself was grand, wee bit uncomfortable at the acute turn in the colon; that was really the only painful part. Had some Entonox and opted not to have sedation. That was just a personal preference, and I'd say with it it really isn't anything to worry about. 

    I am feeling quite a bit anxious I must admit, and thank you for giving me an opportunity to talk about it, that does really help to reason it out. Reading all the academic articles and whatnot that I can find, it's like 5% possibility of malignancy...that's just me roughly estimating from the characteristics, location, my age etc...basically me giving myself a solid thought to hold onto until I get results. And sure if it is something to worry about, thank goodness I'm in the position I'm in now and something can be done to sort it.

    How have you been getting on? I hope you haven't had too much anxiety to deal with and have been able find yourself a bit closer to answers. Take care x

  • Hi, that is good news that you have had your colonoscopy! You must feel a bit of relief knowing that it's done now and your on the right steps to getting sorted. That sounds similar to my dad's expierence, He had a large , I think even 2 very large polyps that were not removed during a colonoscopy but done a different day, I think they said sometimes when they're that big it can take over an hour to remove it so they do the biopsies first while waiting to fit you in .. My dad's ended up being benign and they were pretty big ones. 

    I'm thinking I probably have a polyp too as I know from reading our symtoms were similar. Did the doctor seem like anything was wrong or just that it was a more than likely benign polyp ? I think they can tell by looking so if hs seemed ok thats a good sign I'd say and if he did the exam staright after the colonoscopy it could maybe just of felt full from air used during the scope or else just a bit inflamed from having a scope .. thats the way I would try think of it was me x

    I'm still no closer, my gp sent in another referall specifically addressed to the gastro specialist since the last one went to a general surgeon who decided it was routine, however it has somehow ended up in the hands of that surgeon again and so far I haven't heard anything since, My Partner sent an email to a patient service thing in the hospital asking why after a positive fit test and a&e attendance was it triaged as routine but I haven't heard back from that either , My gp said he might send me to the hospitals medical assessment unit to speed things up but so far no word back.

    It's my sons birthday on Saturday hes turning 8 so I have been distracted and busy most of the week but I know after it passes I'll feel panicky again, I wish I would of been able to have been sorted before christmas but it definitely feels like I'll be a while longer, Did you expierence any bleeding during the prep or after the colonoscopy? I think I'm slightly traumatized at this stage over seeing blood in the toilet and It's playing on my mind a bit as I don't know what to expect,  I hope you get results soon xx 

  • Hi [@Hope_lovexo]‍ 

    Sorry I've been quiet for a wee while, I was just giving myself some space from the forum and ruminating. Hope you had a lovely day with your wee one today :happy: my eldest is turning 8 in March; it's such a fun wee stage to be at. My other wee boy is 6 in May, and I was very well content to leave the baby stage behind!lol 

    No bleeding etc during the prep..the worst thing about it is the sheer volume of liquid that you have to get down. Drink some prep through a straw and then wash it down with a drink of something you enjoy and I think that's how I'd recommend to handle it. I expected a tiny bit of bleeding after the colonoscopy but only due to the fact of having a few biopsies taken; as it turned out no bleeding, just a bit of pink tinged mucus when I got round to my first bowel movement after it.

    I really hope you get somewhere with the process soon, it's not a nice thing to have such a worry hanging over your head in the run up to Christmas. Hopefully contacting the patient service people will get your referral into the correct hands. Let me know how you get on. 

    Thank you so much for letting me know about your Dad's experience; that's a wonderfully reassuring story to hear, and thank goodness it turned out okay for him. 

    I got a letter today for an MRI scan on pelvis and rectum, on 22nd Dec. No news back on the biopsies taken, but he'd said a report would be sent to my consultant and one to my GP within 3 weeks. Three weeks would be boxing day so, news is coming soon. 

  • Hi it's nice to hear from you again!

    I haven't had much of an update except from this morning I've been told I may have an appointment for January with the consultant - as far as I know It's initially going to be an outpatient consulation and then they'll schedule a colonoscopy I hope,.. I wish it had been at least arranged before Christmas but I guess that was wishful thinking with all going on at the moment, I will post an update if I hear sooner, 

    I'm glad that story brought you some reassurance my dad keeps using it to try reassure me , He had been bleeding for a few days and then one day it started spontaneously while at work and he passed out from loosing too much blood and then collapsed again in the hospital. He had the two very large polyps and all turned out okay but I still worry, 

    If it takes the full 3 weeks for your gp to get results then that's usually a good sign too as they rush those they feel could be serious, and thats great news about your scan being so close If you felt comfortable to post an update after yours as I feel I'm going down the same path of investigations , How are you feeling about it all now ? I'm still quite anxious, The worry is just awful, it was nice to have a bit of a distraction the past few days but it's snap back to reality unfortunately xx 

  • I know how you feel; it would be better to have gotten the consultation and colonoscopy date before Christmas. It does settle your mind a wee bit when you have that definite date in your calendar. I hope you're able to put it aside as much a possible and enjoy the season. Your Dad's experience is worrying but also a fantastic outcome. I'm sure he was so worried himself at the time; it just stands to show you that just when it feels like the worst, the outcome may not always be so. 

    Still trying to keep it in my head that statically us "younger adults" should have very little to worry about. I'm anxious to move time forward and get this MRI over with, as I'm sure that will be to point where I have a definite answer. I just want to get on with things and start getting better. Still waiting on my biopsy results, but my GP isn't in the surgery every day either so, I think she's in tomorrow so may give them a wee ring then. 

    I will absolutely keep you updated, I am intending to be back next week with a benign polyp diagnosis and a bit of a clue as to how they intend to remove it, and I really hope that in some way that'll give you a bit of piece of mind yourself. I've read through forum posts here and not come across many people coming back with their positive (negative lol) diagnoses... I'm fully intending to be able to leave a wee trail that shows no matter how many symptom boxes your ticking that it does turn out okay! 

    Best of luck with this week, throw yourself into Christmas activities and try not to dwell too much..we are on the right track. Chat soon!

  • Hello and happy new year , I hope you enjoyed the holiday times with your family and have by now received some reassuring news xx