Terrified I have Bowel Cancer and feeling hopeless

Hi to anyone who reads this , I'm 27 and a mum to my 7 year old boy and since summer I've had bleeding with stool. I'm posting now because it's just happened again after 2 weeks of nothing when it had completely stopped and I was finally starting to think nothing bad was going to happen to me... I had 2 times where there was streaks of blood and some mucus covering the top of the stool, (its never been when I wiped) It wasn't mixed in with the stool and I thought as the stool was a bit hard it could of been a tear or something, I called gp who did bloods that were normal and then a physical exam and said it wasn't hemorroids or a tear, She referred me for a colonoscopy and said if it happened again to go to A&E with a sample - it happened again 3 weeks ago and I went to a&e, They said it wasn't an emergency so I was sent home after hours of waiting. This morning I've gone to the bathroom again and the stool looked normal ( I've been having a quick glance now and then before I flush just to make sure) but floating beside the stool was something i thought was just a piece of food but when I used tissue and picked it up it was actually mucus with blood, it looks like a mucusy red stringing vein and this is the first time its been separate from the stool, whats scaring me is if it was hemorroids or a tear it would be on the tissue when I wiped , If it was hemorroids then the gp would be able to feel it, they did blood tests for inflammation so if it was an ibd it would've shown, I'm just distraught. In 2017 I had a colonoscopy after am xray for another reason showed my bowel was thickened and they were going to check for colitis bu that seemed to be all clear so that would rule out something like ibd.. anything I've googled or read says that my symptoms can only mean the big C, and I've mylittle boy to think of , I've been so positive the past few months trying to just make myself beleive its all alright these things happen its something normal, but theres never anythinf when I wipe so it must be higher up..I lost my friend 2 years ago to melanoma and her 4 young babies were left without a mum so I know that the worst case scenario can happen. I did have a bit of diarrhoea yesterday , and then this morning I had slight cramps but felt a bit constipated,  although it happened easily enough the stool was a bit lumpy but I cant explain rationally to myself what other reason apart from Bowel Cancer would cause it to be floating next to it incased in mucus, All I'm thinking is how long its been going on for and if its something bad its been untreated..My nan died during the first lockdown with bowel cancer and it was awful, I just keep thinking the worst , I rang the consultant secretary who is suposoed to be doing my scope and she said that I could be lookig at a 9 month wait and she couldnt even see my referall on the system... I really feel like I cant cope with it anymore to wait to be told theres nothing a doctor can do and its too late ..how does it makes sense that the thing I fear the most - leaving my son without a mother is going to be caused by myself because I really can't do this anymore 

Parents
  • I'm so sorry that you're having to face such a long wait, I know how scary it feels when you look at your wee ones and imagine the worst. I'm similar to you in that my symptoms started this summer too. My Dr tested and found inflammation present, but it was the positive fit test that allowed her to write again to the consultant and get me into the "two week wait" route for colonoscopy. Has your Dr given you a fit test? If not it would be a good idea to ask for one to be done, a positive result will help your case for a more urgent referral. 

    Try not to worry, I know it's hard not to but it is so very unlikely to be cancer, there's lots of reasons for similar symptoms. 

  • Hi thank you for your message , I know It's awful looking at my son and worrying that something is wrong especially as he's an only child ...Yes I had a positive FIT test, not that I needed it though as the blood is visible, Its usually on the top of the stool and then yesterday was the first time I noticed that there was blood mixed with a bit of mucus in the toilet , Im just so worried.. I really thought it would subside again and that maybe it was just another once off.. but I seen it again today about an hour ago and its so upsetting,  Its not like its something I can ignore or not look at as its something our bodies need to do every second day! I cant find anyone online whos symtoms were like mine , usually the normal things is on the paper or when you wipe, Mine theres nothing which scares me theres something really higher, Did you have your colonoscopy yet ? X 

  • I'm due to have it this Sunday. One of my symptoms is blood on stool and occasionally in the toilet, nothing that was on wiping if you know what I mean; I think it sounds like perhaps a similar experience to yours. I was checked too, for hemorrhoids, and I know how you feel,  how worrying it is when that doesn't seem to be the issue and that it's a higher up bleed.

    But I am keeping telling myself that you know there's many things it may be. In my case, I'm thinking it's possibly diverticular disease because you can have bleeding with that, and I'm finding it difficult to eat with pain right after I do eat something. I've had the mucus thing too, myself. I think it may be a sign of irritation? Could be a benign polyp that's bleeding. Honestly I know how difficult it is not to panic, but really we have statistics on our side; it's very highly unlikely to be something sinister. I have two little boys, and my ex was just horrible...I cannot be ill, they need me. You just have to see the positive side, you know? 

    I really wish you the best. And please get back to your gp and push for an urgent referral! ( I know what you mean about the fit test; it was obviously bloody and it felt a bit silly having to do one, but it is part of the diagnostics for who will be referred on the 2 week pathway) 

  • That does sound similiar to my own symtoms and it did feel so disappointing and unnerving to hear they didn't think it was hemorroids.. I've been distracting myself trying to focus on everyday routines which works for a while but its one of those things that you cant ignore when you need to go , Tiktok really doesn't help , I'm unsure about whether or not the videos that show up are  related to your search history but a woman came up on mine shes 28 from another part of ireland  and got diagnosed with stage 4 bc after being investigated for bleeding that they were all convinced was from hemorroids, I just felt of all the videos that had to pop up ! It is really good to hear that you are getting your colonoscopy this week I'm hoping that all goes okay for you , My gp has said they can more or less tell you straight away if all was normal and what they found , I hope you get answers too and its all okay, If you get good news or anything I would love to hear how you got on, I'm having anxeity even thinking about the prep but only if you feel comfortable sharing how you got on , thank you for your kind messages I'm hoping things work out for us x 

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  • That does sound similiar to my own symtoms and it did feel so disappointing and unnerving to hear they didn't think it was hemorroids.. I've been distracting myself trying to focus on everyday routines which works for a while but its one of those things that you cant ignore when you need to go , Tiktok really doesn't help , I'm unsure about whether or not the videos that show up are  related to your search history but a woman came up on mine shes 28 from another part of ireland  and got diagnosed with stage 4 bc after being investigated for bleeding that they were all convinced was from hemorroids, I just felt of all the videos that had to pop up ! It is really good to hear that you are getting your colonoscopy this week I'm hoping that all goes okay for you , My gp has said they can more or less tell you straight away if all was normal and what they found , I hope you get answers too and its all okay, If you get good news or anything I would love to hear how you got on, I'm having anxeity even thinking about the prep but only if you feel comfortable sharing how you got on , thank you for your kind messages I'm hoping things work out for us x 

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