Hi Chloe, 

Oh yes, you're absolutely right. It is extremely hard to stop worrying and forget about it. Even if you manage to, it always finds a way back unfortunately.

Oh dear, it sounds like you've been through a lot. I hope you're okay now. Hopefully you won't have to wait too long and this time will have a similar outcome. I'm sure having an autoimmune disease can't be nice either, but I'm glad you've managed to get it under control.

No I haven't been tested for anything like that. But it's definitely reassuring to know that it can be caused by many different things, as we always tend to jump straight to cancer. 

I don't think I'll be asking for anything else right now, but I'll see how it all goes and if anything changes. Its hard to block it out completely, as the lumps in my collar bone are so prominent right now and hard for me to ignore, plus I have lots of squishy lumps in my groin area now too and a few other places.

I've never, ever had any swollen lymph nodes that I could feel like this before, anywhere on my body. Obviously when I've been very unwell or had tonsillitis, my neck has got swollen and the tonsillar lymph nodes have swollen up like golf balls, but I've always known the cause and they've gone back down. I know that almost anything can cause them, and my daughter even has some swollen lymph nodes in her neck from years ago, that have never gone away. But it's just difficult to process when you've gone 30 years without any obvious 'lumps' and then they seem to be randomly appearing everywhere. But doctors know what they're talking about, so I will take them at their word and hope for the best. One of life's big mysteries!

I really do wish you the best of luck with your scan and hope you get some good news too. Always happy to listen as I can't tell you how much this helped me through when I was so scared. When you first get these symptoms you feel so alone, but its so lovely to have all of this support from people who understand. Lots of love xxx

Hi everyone,

I had my CT scan on Monday and Ultrasound and core biopsy today. No results from the CT yet but I had the loveliest darling of an US consultant who really made me feel at ease in such unpleasant circumstances. I think he will stay in my mind for a long time. He did say the nodes looked like it will be lymphoma. Luckily he only had to take one core sample so I'm not too sore but it feels like my neck lump has doubled in size since I first noticed it a month ago, so I'm very concerned it's going to be diagnosed as a high grade NHL, like diffuse B cell... It feels like there's more pressure on my collarbone now and it's quite uncomfortable on a daily basis. Trying to stay positive but honestly just want them to remove it ASAP so it can stop being a constant reminder. Hopefully I will hear back about conclusive diagnosis soon as the waiting is killing me - have done many jigsaw puzzles and bought myself a Nintendo Switch as a distraction as I haven't been up for working on my PhD lately and have very little to be doing.

Hope you are all well and have more positive stories to share!

Hi Rose, just wanted to check in and see how you're doing? 
And also Sal and Judgey? Xx

Hi Danzie, 

Thanks for checking in - I got a call last Thursday from my ENT consultant to say my biopsy came back as Hodgkin Lymphoma. Got a call again this morning to say I have an appointment with Haem/Onc tomorrow to discuss treatment etc. I'm fine, to be honest, it's the best outcome of the different possibilities and I shouldn't need surgery, just chemo. I'm going away to France on Saturday for a week with my family and my boyfriend and his family so that will be a nice break from it all. Hoping tomorrow will bring a bit of clarity about everything though!

Not sure if it's ok to post here but I've started writing about my experience with this as someone with a background in medical science - you can have a look here if you like

Scary as it must be, I totally understand that it's the best of bad bunch (diagnoses wise) and that you have a very clear plan of action. I'm told chemo has come a long way and the side affects are far more manageable now, I'm sure you will find ways to get through it and simply look forward to being cancer free in the near future!

As you can tell from these forums, it is so important to talk about experiences and listen to others so I'm sure your blog will be well received. 

Enjoy France (I love it there!) and take care of yourself xx

Hi Sallx,

Hope you are doing well!

Just wanted to jump back in here in case anyone comes scroll this later. 

I had finally had my ultrasound this morning! The doctor was super quiet and wouldnt say much, but I asked if I should be worried and she said not at all so I guess it's all fine! She said her speciality isn't the neck so wants someone 5o double check her report before she sends to my GP but it all looks fine to her. I've got to try and put this all behind me now!

All the best,

Chloe 

I'm pleased to hear your good news Chloe :-)

hope you're well Sal? And Rose too? I think of you both often and hope that Rose's treatment is going smoothly. And you Judgey xxx

I'm not too bad thanks Danielle. Still get a little worried at times as to what these lumps actually are, as they're not showing any signs of going anytime soon. But oh well, what can you do?! 

Aww bless, I think of you all too. It's strange that we don’t know eachother but I couldn't be more grateful for everyone's support during that scary time. I hope you're keeping well and your health issues have got better. Xxx

Hi Sallx,

Just got a call from my GP to come in for an appointment on Friday to discuss the results. Freaking out again now because why would they want to see me in person if everything was normal?!

Hopefully its still nothing. 

Chloe