I really hope you don't mind me posting. You lovely ladies have been such a support to one another and it's so nice to read how you've been there for one another.

I also have a lump (doctor thinks lymph node) in the Supraclavicular region and after spending far too long on Google I am extremely worried. I have an appointment with an ENT specialist on Thursday but won't have a scan done that day unfortunately so I'll still be worrying. I feel so anxious because I've also found another lump on the other side of my neck plus I woke up dripping in sweat last night (I know this is a symptom of Lymphoma). I have a cough and had a weird rash appear on the other side of my neck too. I am almost 39 and have two young boys aged 6 and almost 4. They are my world and I am panicking about something being very wrong with me. Originally I saw a nurse who wanted to do the 'wait and see' approach but I pushed for a referral today from a lovely nurse practioner and now I feel at least I have the ball rolling. I only happened to find the lump by chance because I had such bad neck pain following a bout with Covid at the beginning of January. I didn't go to the GP straight away as I wanted to see if it'd go down but it hasn't. I am hoping it's all to do with Covid as I know it can do strange things to our bodies. Horrible having the waiting and worrying though. Hope all of you ladies are doing well and thank you for listening xx

Hi Sallx,

Just got home from my GP appointment. The doctor wasn't concerned at all, he said my lymph nodes were very small and soft which is a good sign. He said that sometimes they swell and stay that way forever as they form what is know as calcium deposits which is like scar tissue! He's sent me for an ultrasound (non urgent) so I'm going to try and take his word and stop touching/looking until whenever that may be. 

My health anxiety has been so bad I'm even doubting what he's said and thinking what if he felt a different node to the one I was worried about but we have to trust the professionals and im starting to believe my mind is making matters worse!

Chloe xxx

Hi Chloe,

I'm also going through the same thing so I hope you don't mind me replying.

Glad your doctor thought it was nothing to worry about and also glad that you've been sent for a scan anyway. This is definitely what should be done so that it can put your mind at ease. I hope you get good results and can relax soon.

I have my appointment Thursday morning at 9:30am and a scan booked now for Friday at 8:30am. Pleased I don't have long to wait as my anxiety is through the roof.

Take care everyone x

Hello Lovelies, 

No of course - you are more than welcome to post. The more, the merrier! Maybe a strange expression lol, as of course I wish none of us were in this situation, but it's lovely that we can support eachother. 

Ahh I'm so sorry to hear you've been going through that. I can completely understand your worry, but we absolutely convince ourselves of the worst and most of the time it turns out to be okay. But the worry is absolutely horrendous and I know its difficult to stop. 

Hopefully it is all down to covid. Like you said, it can do strange things to our body and I've heard of so many people having swollen lymph nodes after the vaccines too. 

I hope your appointments go well. Please keep us updated and come to have a chat any time you're feeling worried. Xxx

Hi chloe, 

I'm so sorry to hear it wasn't much reassurance. Its great that the doctor isn't concerned though so I hope you take some comfort from that. And fingers crossed your ultrasound won't take too long.

I can remember waiting for mine and I couldn't think of anything else so I even booked it privately. But because its gone on for so long, my anxiety has eased a lot over it.

I completely know what you mean with the health anxiety though. I absolutely convinced myself that it was bad, and still do sometimes now. I just want them to tell me what is causing it. If they can't figure out a cause, but they say they've ruled out anything serious, I would be happy with that. However, even though my tests have come back ok so far, they still want to investigate further which is good, but it continues that worry. 

It's definitely a good idea to stop feeling for them. Even though its almost impossible as we want to keep checking to see if they've gone or changed at all, but I felt a lot better when I only allowed myself to check now and again. And I agree, my mind definitely made things worse...it really can play tricks on us at times and make us question things.

We're here anytime you need to talk. Xxx

Hi Sallx,

I feel a little more settled than I did this morning, but have still touched the lumps multiple times since my doctors! Tomorrow is a new day and I'll make it my aim to give myself no more than 30 mins worry time each day moving forward. It just unsettles me you can see the lump when I turn my neck! 

When are your next tests! Do keep us updated!

You've been a saviour today, thanks for listening. I had told my partner and he was the one who convinced me to go gp and he came with me today. He was satisfied im fine so I feel like I cant keep going on now!

All the best, Chloe x 

Aww I'm glad you feel a little better. Don't beat yourself up, it's so difficult to stop touching them as we get so used to it. And I think deep down we are thinking by touching them, it will help us figure out what they are, or what is causing them. Even if you go an hour without touching them or thinking about it, be proud of yourself. 

I have blood tests and another ultrasound coming up soon. Thanks, I will keep you updated. 

Aww, you're so welcome. It's so hard to understand unless you're in that position and it's all you can think about.

Lots of love xxx

Thank you for your replies. I also keep prodding my lumps, which I know I shouldn't. I'm also panicking about the night sweat I had last night as I've never had one before and with the lymph nodes up in my neck I can't help but think I've got lymphoma. I keep crying and looking at my boys worrying that if it's something bad it'll upset everything. Hope you ladies are fairing better with the worrying. I don't really know what to do with myself x

Hi ladies,

sorry to hear about your lymph node woes.. Sal, Rose and I can all empathise! You don't need me to tell you that a) there are many benign causes of swollen nodes and b) though no one wants cancer, lymphoma is often very responsive to treatment. 

what I will say is that the mind can make everything worse. Hyper vigilance will have you noticing every little twinge, and anxiety will cause you to have symptoms that mimic the very things you're worrying about! Never underestimate the effect stress can have on your body.

step away from self-diagnosing. Push for testing and make sure the Dr's are taking you seriously. They are the only ones we should be paying attention to, not the false tales that our over cautious brains tell us! Do not prod your nodes as that makes them bigger. Limit it to twice a week and just to monitor progress. Once you go a few days without touching them, the urge to do so starts to pass and you'll notice your anxiety decrease- trust me!

I have recently started CBT for health anxiety. The symptoms I have had for the last 6 months may have been very real, but my mental response to them has shocked me. I have been a mess. You will see that despite Rose's diagnosis, she is able to keep things in proportion, stay motivated to get through her treatment and keep positive to live her best life. That is the definition of being resilient and having a mindset that will see you through difficulties. I am trying to aim for that- whatever may or may not be wrong with me, I'm aiming to have the best possible attitude to keep me mentally well. I can't keep living like im dying all the time :-( 

my ultrasound went well and the dr's aren't concerned about my nodes. I struggle with having no explanation and constantly worry they've missed something. The stress then continues a cycle of symptoms. It helps to recognise this but doesn't stop the cycle completely! When I was waiting for my US I found that throwing myself into distractions with 100% effort was good. I initially shunned away from family and friends but getting out there and being social did eventually help to divert my mind. 
 

keep talking ladies! It helps us all to have these chats. Sal and Rose have helped keep me sane xx