Hi everyone, 

I hope you're all doing ok! 

I'm new here and I have my appointment at the breast clinic on Tuesday 28th Sept. I had just been quietly getting on with my life while waiting for the appointment but since Thursday all I can do is cry and worry about what ifs, I'm googling stuff all the time and going over the worst case scenarios in my head, I'm driving myself mad. My GP said during my check that she has felt a lot of breast lumps in her career and there are some lumps that doctor's can tell are probably cancer, and she didn't think my lump was anything to worry about but as it's fixed she would refer me on the 2 week pathway. I then spoke to another GP on Thursday as I had squeezed my nipple while manically checking my breasts for more lumps and cancer signs and pinkish sticky fluid came out, which worried me greatly. The GP said she wasn't worried and a lot of women who have had children leak fluid when their nipples are squeezed or stimulated. The GP also said that if they suspect cancer then they gently prepare women for a possible diagnosis so it isn't a bolt out of the blue, and tried to reassure me that they aren't concerned. But I just have this feeling, I've been feeling unwell for while, I have pain in my chest (that my GP diagnosed via a video appointment as costchondritis a couple of months ago) and my chest looks really veiny (I'm pale skinned and my chest veins are bright blue and very visible, I can't remember if it's always been like that as I rarely look at myself topless). I'm really worried about my teenager who is going through so much stuff at the moment that something like me being diagnosed would probably tip them over the edge, I'm pretending everything is ok but that I ust feels like I'm lying to them.

I don't really have anyone to talk to outside my family and I don't want to worry them unless there is something definite to worry about, so if you got this far, thank you for reading. Also, If you have any advice on how to stop myself completely losing my sh*t, it will be greatly appreciated. 
 

A x