Constant Anxiety and fear of Dying

Hi all, first time post so here it goes.

Around 10-11 years ago when I was 19/20 I had a mole removed from my back that I thought nothing of as I was quite naive about skin cancer. Was told it was nothing to worry about, fast forward maybe 6-7 weeks still no news so I assumed it was good because there was no rush. I was called in and was told the Drs looking at it could not make there minds up, if it was put in front of 10 , 5 would say it's fine, 5 melanoma. So it was decided that I would have a WLE & SNL biopsy, thankfully both came back negative and I proceeded with my follow up skin checks. It was stage 1B. During this time I developed major health anxiety, playing with all my lymph nodes, self diagnosing myself through Dr google! I messed around with a node in my neck that has swollen up and was so afraid of cancer I put it off for maybe 12 months, finally got it removed and it was classed as reactive. 
Found a node in my groin that I probably touched 100 times per day, convinced it was lymphoma, again put off the Drs visit and when eventually came to it I was told it wasn't even swollen! I made a 2nd app within 2 weeks to double check. 
The anxiety seemed to stop a bit for a few years until I suddenly lost my father in law to a heart attack, this then sent me into a frenzy, convinced I was having heart issues I went for an ECG, again all fine. Now the last 2-3 weeks my anxiety seems to be back and the driver in it is my new found pride and joy, my 6 week old little girl! I've had a mole on my chest for as long as I can remember but I'm now convinced my melanoma is coming back and I'm dying :( sorry to sound so dramatic , I have a picture of it from 3 years ago and there is no change, although it is irregular in shape and 2 shades of brown, it's small and not raised. I'm really freaking out and have been on google day and night searching recurrent melanoma death rates and if I could have metastatic cancer without knowing. I've got a phone app with my GP on Wednesday that has asked for a picture of the mole I'm worried about, I'm afraid of what will be said and the thought of having a biopsy and awaiting results is making me feel ill. 

  • Hi D7_DGI,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm sorry to hear of your worries. I'm glad to hear you've made an appointment with the GP - and hopefully that has gone OK today and you've either got some reassurance or next steps.

    It's easier said than done but try not to Google these things as it's not possible to self-diagnose and it only tends to lead to more worries.

    Health anxiety can be difficult. It may be helpful to review the information and resources available from the NHS Every Mind Matters page, which you can find here.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator