Hello everyone, 

For the past couple of days I have been inconsolable and filled with dread and worry that I may have some form of cancer. For years, I have experienced extremely heavy periods and have had suspected endometriosis for as long as I can remember. After having my son my periods and cycle generally sorted themselves out, some still arriving early the majority of the time, but at least I’m getting periods.
 

I had my son on the 13/07/2020 and ever since and during my pregnancy I have had chronic thrush, an intensely itchy vulva, extremely painful sex which has lead to me having no sex drive, sex has always been uncomfortable and the only way I can describe it is as if during penetration my partner is hitting at a bruise. I’ve always had very strange discharge, but it’s the itchiness of my vulva and how intense it gets, it flares up every now and again. I am a worrier, and because I have never had any answers I have taken to the internet to search and self-diagnose my symptoms, and of course all I’m seeing is cancer, vulva cancer, ovarian cancer, cervical cancer etc.
 

Recently, I have been in intense pain with my lower back, that is radiating to my pelvic and my upper thigh, I had this looked at by my doctor, and he suspects kidney stones and I have been referred for a CT scan, he also sent off a urine sample that come back clear from a UTI, however had blood in it but like I said he suspected a kidney stone. Now these lab results have come back clear I am absolutely petrified as to why there was blood in my wee and why I have such intense lower back pain, it has been persistent for a week now, but I do usually always struggle with lower back pain. 
 

 I have a one year old son and my worst fear is leaving him behind, this is really taking a toll on my mental health but I don’t think anyone is taking me seriously, it is not healthy for someone of my age to be worrying about dying and leaving her baby behind 24/7. I am constantly examining my breasts and feeling for lumps and being absolutely petrified if I feel anything abnormal, sometimes I start to imagine things. I am crying whilst writing this because I am so so scared. If I express my concerns to my partner or my family they laugh and tell me to stop being ridiculous and that everything is going to be ok, but I have a gut feeling that I am in for some bad news after my CT scan and gynaecologist appointment next week. Please I don’t know what to do I just feel lost.