How did you get on? 

Hello sunshine 90

How thoughtful of you to ask.

Cried on way

Cried in there

Cried this evening.

I had a nightmare with the cannula because they are using new ones omg they hurt. The nurse said they've had complaints from patients.

So then they pulled that out and did another one in the other arm.

They said the doctor said will look at the scans.

But in myself I am positive it's nasty I can't see a way out. I'm just waiting for the call

Kerry x

So sorry to hear your not feeling good.

Try and stay possitive, I know it's really hard. I'm back at the hospital on Monday for my results. I'm not feeling very possitive either. But I'm trying. 

It's horrible isn't it. I pray we are both OK and can soon put all this behind us xx

Oh I'm sorry I should of asked about you.

I'm so down I didn't think..

How are you?

I had a abdominal scan because of dilated pancreatic duct.

Have you had a call? 

Its good to have someone to talk to x x

It's ok, I know how you feel. Its so difficult to concentrate on anything. It's like my brain won't allow any other thought in other that these test results. I've been very down today too, im in pain and just really feeling sorry for myself. I have children so I'm putting on a brave face for them, only my eldest knows what's going on ( a watered down version of what's going on) if it wasn't for the kids I definitely wouldn't have even got out of bed today. 

I'm sorry, i don't know anything about a pancreatic duct. I had an abnormal smear so I've been having tests for that. Blood tests, scans, biopsy. I'm also getting abnormal bleeding and pain. I  get the results on Monday. I've got to go to the hospital to see the consultant. I'm so so scared. It's been nearly 5 weeks since that first trip to the doctors for my routine smear. It's been a very stressful time. 

Have you been told how long it will be untill you get your results? 

It really is good to talk. 

Xx

I have been exactly where you are..

6 years ago I had abnormal smears dysakosis (spelt wrong) 14  weeks of bleeding and pain.

Had biopsy can't remember the grade but..... Was taken in for a loop diathermy.. And all was OK.

Had yearly smears for 5 years after that.

So... Try not to worry I'm sure you'll be ok

Everything is crossed for you x

I know exactly what you mean about putting a face on with people and family I'm struggling hugely.. I've bee doing what you said about not getting out of bed

I've wrote letters and sorted photo albums etc. 

Pancreatic has a really bad record of cancer so I don't think it'll work out for me

Kerry xx

I'm so sorry to hear you have been through this too. Its horrible. I've also got an abnormal looking cervix, the nurse called the doctor in when I was having my smear. And the lady doing my biopsy also looked very concerned. Hence the need for scans. I also spent a night in hospital with heavy bleeding and clots. I'm praying everything comes back OK. Or that what ever it is can be treated. Such a very scary time! 

Kerry, I really feel for you. Please try to stay possitive until you have the facts. It could very well turn out to be nothing. I know its easier said than done as I'm going out my mind too. Im up and down. One minute I'm ok and the next I'm really not. 

Hugs xx

Aww you have been a friend just through these few messages I will be thinking of you every day I promise.

Its very scarey I cry all the time but hide it.. My poor partner is struggling too.

I've had 2 nasty marriages and then meet my darling man 8 years ago and now this... I keep feeling its going to be taken...

Its so scarey isn't it... 

I keep thinking about when the gp said I'll arrange a urgent ct scan.. Today was horrid I cried on the way... In the room and then when I came out. 

Sorry sunshine you have enough of your own worries going on.. 

A big hug right back to you xx 

.

Please do stay in touch. It really does help to talk doesn't it. And don't be sorry. If I'm helping in any way that makes me happy.

You sound the same as me, things are finally going right in my life too. I started a new job that I love,  after struggling for years. and now I'm having to take so much time off due to the stress of all this. Im a single mum so I'm going to struggle financially too. 2 of my children have additional needs and need me so much. The whole thing feels like a nightmare.

I also keep thinking of things doctors and nurses have said, you can't help but play it over and over in your mind. All this is so bad for our mental health. 

Anyway,  I have found that reading a good book has been helping me take my mind off things. I've got through a few now. So if you like reading maybe try that. And this sounds really silly, but watching TV with subtitles so I'm having to focus on the words aswel as watch the program is helping too. I just need to find something new to watch. Sounds daft I know. Lol

How are you sleeping? I watch TV untill i fall asleep, evenings seem better for me for some reason. but im awake very early. Mornings are worse for me. As soon as i wake up I'm wishing the day away. 

Try and eat, ive been struggling. But i do find that if I eat a nutritious meal i do feel a bit better. I find smaller meals are easier to manage. Also having a long hot shower helps me too. It's a struggle to get in sometimes and I have to force myself, but once I'm in I use all my nice soap and glory products. And my daughter has some lovely shower gels that I've been pinching. Lol. It does seem to lift my mood, even if it's just for an hour. I've been walking too when I'm not in too much pain. I've read lots of good advice on here like taking one day at a time. One hour at a time if you need to. Try and stay in the moment and not think too far ahead. Take deep breaths. Look after your self. Cry if you need to. Don't keep things bottled up. All of this does help, even if just for a while. 

I hope you have a restful night xx

You... Are the loveliest lady.. Thankyou x

Mornngs are dreadful for me, I just don't want to get up. Soon as my eyes open my anxiety butterfly stomach starts it doesn't stop.

I look through the TV its like I'm floating. People talking to me but I know I'm just nodding. I get short with people too. How awful is that.

Sleeping isn't brilliant.

I keep watching for every symptom.

Im losing weight.

Though I am eating ok. 

Wow I admire you... Children and

2 with additional needs and you work!!! Alot of people wouldn't bother if they were in your position seriously that's great

I've been a single mum twice so I know how hard it can be.

I do try to read but struggle.

All I seem to see is bloody cancer adverts.

I will send a friend request.

I just want to thankyou xx

And as I send this it's another advert