Hello lovely forum people, 

Looking for any kind souls to help advise me! Warning and apologies for long post in advance!!! 

I went to see my GP back in Jan 2021 as a long sufferer of chronic constipation (30 years) I'm fairly au fait with bowel pain as you can imagine! So have quite a high threshold. Anyhoo since the summer 2020 I'd been experiencing on and off cramping wasn't sure if it was pelvic or rectal (I had CINIII diagnosis cervical cancer back in 2000 caught just in time). Had a negative smear in Sept so that set my mind at rest. As the pain wasn't constant all the  time I tried to book a dr appt it would be gone again so hence waiting until Jan. 

I could only get a telephone appointment. Explained things had progressed and I not only had more pain more often but v unusually for me had some diarrhoea of varying degrees, some rather ribbon like poos and one night of agonising pain when my husband wanted to call 999. There was quite a lot of blood then I was actually screaming in pain. 
 

I don't have piles (despite the constipation) but despite all this the dr just prescribed me some steroid suppositories. She seemed not at all interested. Didn't even ask for list of symptoms and interrupted my call 3 times to answer her door to other people! Then said what would you like me to do? Errrr you're the dr I was rather hoping you'd advise me! 
 

So by April the pain had become constant. Night and day to the point I couldn't actually sit down. Only leaning to one side, lying in my side at night etc. Sleeping during the day (unheard of for me). I take Baclofen for neck spasms and this occasionally helped relax spasm but even codeine phosphate  didn't really numb the pain. I'm currently spending half my day in warm baths to help the pain. . I managed to secure a physical appt sadly same doctor! Again no interest in symptoms just said "do you have private ins as NHS wait will be a year or more?"  Then hand wrote a referral as her printer wasn't working but didn't even give me a name of a consultant to refer to! Do I need colorectal or gastro (no tummy pains only rectal?). She prescribed Dicolfenac suppositories for the pain (but they just increase the constant urge to push that I feel 24/7 although do help with the pain and Valium to relax the muscles  

Im at my wits end. Despite a physical exam she said all felt normal but it really doesn't! My rectum is in spasm - excruciating wind that can't escape. No blood thank goodness but when I insert suppository the pain and swelling in there is so obvious. And I can feel knobbly spongy (yet firm) swelling. It feels nothing like it used to. 
 

Who do I see? What is wrong? I can't live with this pain and constant urge to push. I've lost 4kg since January, I hadn't realised and certainly haven't been trying to. Sometimes I fall asleep sitting up mid conversation with my husband. I've also started having the odd accident front and back. #embarassing
 

 I have two very young girls, I'm terrified that something sinister is being overlooked. I saw a colorectal surgeon back in 2007 who discovered my bowel has no peristaltic movement (it's smooth should be ridged to move waste along. Only option was resection but major op and I hadn't had children yet so was out on back burner). He warned me then to be vigilant as taking laxatives (I have to it's the only way to empty my bowels once every two weeks) may have detrimental effect. 
 

is there anyone with similar experience that could advise me I'd be eternally grateful. I'm in Buckinghamshire so any specialists round here would be ideal although I can travel to London. 
 

we can't really afford our private ins (as we pay it ourselves) so have been trying save it for when we are older and it may be more important. I have huge monthly fee £349 and excess on each case is £1000 (the only way I can make my monthly premiums work). And I know that some consultants make you pay extra on top not covered by insurance companies. I'm 51 year old female. 
 

even if you can't help and have read this, thank you for taking the time to read this. Sorry for it being so long but felt it needed fully explained. 
 

thank you!