Is this a recurrence?

Hello everyone, 

I am a new poster here but came in as a lurked during my treatment and found a lot if reassurance. I am looking for a bit of that today if I may.

I am currently waiting to go to my breast unit on Monday as I have discovered a new lump near where my first lump was. 

In October I started a new exercise regime and lost a few kilos. It was about a month later that I found the lump and since then I have swung between thinking it has always been there and it just feels different because, of course, most of the weight went from my boobs, and thinking the worst. 

The lump is hard, deep down and immobile.  But it also is under where my scar is although a little higher than where my initial lump was. 

I am trying to remain calm but the anxiety keeps washing over me. (At least this time my husband is aware, last time the first he knew anything was when I told him I had cancer, I didn't want to worry him because I "knew" it was nothing!) 

Anyway, if you have stayed to read this, thank you. I have rambled a bit. So really, I think I just needed to get this off my chest (pun intended) xx

 

  • Hi there and welcome to the club , no one wants to join but glad it's here ...   ; )) 

    Well you've come so far all ready ... this is one more wait ... one more time ... I had lumps after my masectomy which turned out to be calcium deposit .... so they are not always cancer ... but sometimes if a lumpectomy is done , there's a possibility their may be another one .... 

    So come on as hard as I know it is ... get those vertual pink boxing gloves back on .... yes it's a bummer but thats what we all face ... it's like it sits on our shoulders , never quite leaves us ... 

    So yea ... have those emotions ... we all do ... up and positive one minute and crashing down the next .. but as long as we keep getting back up and take each day and every problem as and when it comes up.. you know there's lots of us boxing right there along side you ... sending you a vertual hug Chrissie... and there is a possibility it's o.k ....  xx

  • Thank you Chrissie, that has brought a tear to my eye, I know I can deal with it again. It's not me I worry about so much, I know I can do this, it's my family that have a hard time because they felt so helpless last time. I wasn't the best in accepting help, I'm very much a get on with things person and just wanted to be treated as normal and they want to wrap me up in cotton wool. Maybe if it does turn into the worst I will be more amenable to being looked after this time. Maybe. 

  • You can do this ... my family was the same ... I did the what ifs ... my son panicked... my niece sobbed .. others looked at me like I was gone with lots of sympathy ... so my daughter in law said no more what ifs... no more panicking... well live in the day and take it as it comes not before ...

    So I got my big girl pants on ... boxing gloves ... and when everyone saw me like that ... they jumped on board ... so it's o.k to say your scared ... we all are ... but when they see your boxing gloves ... they can still wrap you up ... but positively ... and yep this is the time to open your arms and accept all the help you need ... then they will feel they are doing something too ... so you help them , help you ... everyone wins ... Chrissie x

  • I will make sure to accept help and hugs IF it does turn out to be not good. In the meantime, I'm batch cooking meals for just in case

    I'm back on the "I'm sure it is nothing" side of the pendulum.