Hi, I'm so sorry if I seem like a fraud posting on here as I haven't got a diagnosis of cancer but if anyone has any insight or advice for me I would appreciate it- pre warning this is a REALLY LONG winded story...

in 2014 whilst pregnant according to family I would randomly (over clothing!) cup my breast, when they informed me of this I in private I checked myself & found a hard non movable pea sized lump on the outer part (near to armpit) of my breast, I was also having blood & fluid leakage which at first gp said was hormonal related, it didn't stop leaking so eventually I was sent to the breast clinic, had ultrasound & CNB & was told it was just a papilloma.

Couple of years down line the lump continued to grow to about the size of an a average sized grape & a half- randomly still leaking fluid but not blood & have never breast fed so gp re referred me back to breast clinic another scan found an additional lump so I had CNB of both lumps, again told they were of being origin but the doctors wanted them both removed, I opted for conservative management as I don't want any unnecessary operations it was agreed that I would come in every so often for scans which I did.

The initial lump grew more so I had another CNB but this time I was 100% sure they biopsied the wrong lump (the 2nd one instead of the first) I was actually having an argument with them saying "I know I had LA, but I'm so sure you biopsied the other lump" I was basically told I don't know what I am talking about & they are the doctors it's all on their computer system but my gut said otherwise but I thought they know best.

The results came back fine again but (I'm going to sound like I should live on Mars now..) but during another pregnancy my Mum who passed away from adenacarcenoma (sp?) came to me in a dream & told me my boob was sick get it checked again,

So sounding like I had lost the plot I went back to my GP & said what had happened she said she'd refer me to mental health services much to my annoyance (but I can understand why I suppose) I refused & insisted to be sent back to the clinic, I went had more CNB & scans again, this time they only sampled one of the lumps I asked why not both & was told they only needed to sample the growing one I again was certain they sampled the wrong lump, again told no they didn't I'm wrong, results - benign. Had baby not breastfed. Still leaking discharge still lump, but as I was assured all good I wasn't worried.

A year or so later I started to feel my breast with the lumps was poisoning me weird I know but it was just a real caveman instinctive deep feeling I couldn't shake it just felt that breast was alien to the rest of my body, the baby dust had sprinkled my way again so I thought I was just hormonal but I managed to get a breast clinic referral as 1st lump was bigger & I wanted it & lump 2 checked for peace of mind.

scans, CNBs same issue again I was so sure they sampled wrongly again they swore blind I was wrong so when I went for the results which showed one lump was ok one lump had atypia (sp?) They wanted to remove the lump with atypia which they said was the 2nd lump that was found but I said they were wrong I'm certain the samples were mislabelled and it's the first lump I found that had the issue I was told yet again I'm wrong but I sat there thinking they are going to take the wrong lump out and leave the one with aytpia in that could possibly grow into something not good I can't take that chance despite being told I was wrong (my Mum who died of cancer was fobbed of by doctors who insisted she had anorexia nothing else- she didn't have or ever had anorexia! So that has left me very paranoid & I probably over think things)

so I asked for a clinic biopsy print out & the report from the lab & it showed discrepancy on samples as when they take samples from the lumps they put how many samples they took from each lump & the sizes of those samples & it showed just from that what I had been saying for all this time- the samples had more than once been mislabelled so with this I asked to speak to doctor in charge she told me that it's a simple mistake and they would never get it wrong!

a few weeks later (covid delays) I was given another scan they found a third lump very deep inside the breast right under around what's known as the 6o'clock position but was told that looks ok but I would need the first lump that was found removed along with the second lump as a precaution but due to being pregnant I would have to wait until after baby born.

baby born...went for rescan the sonographer said the lumps had shrunk I was elated...briefly?!  she then said that's to be expected though as you've had the baby & breasts swell in pregnancy, "Oh that one looks VERY different from the last scan" I said which lump the first, second or third? She said the first lump I'd had (near to armpit) so it was decided the 1st & 2nd lump would be taken out within two weeks.

removal day..... I was expecting lumps 1&2 taken out (lump one due to atypia & lump 2 as a precaution because of mix up) but NO lumps one and two remain they took lump bloody 3 out the deep one which I was told was ok!!!!!

I said why have you left the one with atypia plus the 2nd lump but taken the one out that I was told was fine?? They said they had an MDT meeting the day before & the head surgeon wanted the deep one out 'now' & will call me at some point about the 1st lump?!!

that was a couple of days ago- I'm so emotional I haven't heard from the doctors and I am beyond confused as to what's going on!

Does anyone have any advice? I keep crying because I don't want to leave my children without a Mum I have no answers and frankly as nice as they are the hospital has left me utterly confused.

 Thank You.