Hello, I am guessing you are a mum of 3?? I am too. 30 years old 2 boys 8 and 4 and a girl she is 1. I'm having a breast cancer scare at the moment and have had one in the past too( which thankfully was ok). 
I hear you though, I suffer immensely with health anxiety, strangely since I had my fist scare with the lump in my breast just over 4 years ago. Since then I frighten myself over every ache, pain, spot, lump, you name it I'm freaking out. Since the beginning of the year I have been having major anxiety attacks about having tongue cancer and I spent the first 3 months of this year in and out of doctors and dentists, I still have some issues but you know what I overcame them. Lots and lots of talking with friends and family. Stop, think about it and try to think rationally rather than freak out because from my experience that's the worst feeling than anything else. It came to a point where my eldest was picking up on everything I was doing and he started to mimick the things I was doing, complaining and worrying over pains etc. It's then you realise that you have to try and hide your worries and by doing that keep yourself busy with your children and other hobbies. Don't get me wrong I still find myself on the internet, but I haven't googled in over a month, I just read other people's stories and it gives me hope that if it is something sinister there is treatment. Strangely I'm not panicking like I normally do about this lump I have got, I made a joke that this will be the one thing that's sinister because I'm not fretting over it. But the worry is still there, nothing will stop you from worrying but try and keep the anxiety at bay! Sorry for the long post, I really hope it helps you even if just a little bit! 
 

have you spoken to your GP? They are the only ones that can help with the breast issue and also you can talk to them about your anxiety, they may advise you to for CBT or even medication if it's taking over your life. I was given sertraline which helps with anxiety but I never took them! I was determined to try and fight it alone. 
 

sending you hugs xx

Hi:)

yes a mum of 3! Very close ages to yours actually! I have two girls! 7 and 5 and a boy who is also 1!:) and strangely  have also been through a cancer scare a few years ago! Which also turned out to be ok! It was a blocked milk duct! This lump I have now isn't an obvious lump! I really have to push down quite hard to feel it!...it wasn't what started mr health anxiety though ! Unfortunately I've suffered with anxiety ever since I was a little! So it isn't a new thing for me to be panicking about something like this! I drive my family mad lol...I complete understand about your eldest picking up on things..my eldest does to! She will come in to me complaining about her leg hurting or her arm...totally blame my self for how worried she can get...I try so hard to brush it off!...but it's always the "what if" ya know!...

i have spoken to my doctor..he is very aware which is why I'm worried that if i mention the lump he will just brush it off as my anxiety. He has also prescribed me setralin but just like you I don't take them lol...more so because I'm scared of the side affects ...and I do currently have cbt! It helps a little...I just wish I had a different mind? So draining being worried all the time! Wish I could just shake It off!..

thankyou so much for your advice! And really do hope that your lump turns out to be nothing again! ️ Xxx

Wow! We do seem very similar in everything! Down to the last T! 
my cancer scare turned out to be a fibroadenoma. This one is different too, pea size right under the areola next to my nipple, really hoping it has something to do with the piercing I had done 7 months ago, buts it's only popped up since 4 weeks ago so I'm not holding out much hope. It's painless, round and soft to firmish I think? 
I am the same from since I can remember I have always been a worrier, from little things when I was a teenager, silly really, thinking I had appendicitis(actually it was my periods starting) to thinking I'm having a heart attack(panic attack) but these last 4 years have all been revolved around cancer! Maybe it's because there's so much of it in the world, always hearing of it and it's a worry that I may have it! I also drive my family and friends mad, I have had to take a step back from constant messaging and calling them but they have been very supportive. Oh I know how you feel, I'm always brushing off my eldest with "Yh u will be fine you have just pulled a muscle" or "your leg isn't going to fall off" lol. But deep down I worry about them just as much as myself, my middle child I recently had a lump checked out on his neck, just a lymph node, my eldest I thought had a water infection or kidney infection, turned out he was just having too much fun on the PlayStation and holding his wee in! I'm always fretting over stuff, even booked my partner a doctors appointment recently for his moles which again turned out fine! But the anxiety takes over and I start to think my luck will run out and this is it, I will have the horrible diagnosis. It's a vicious cycle! 
 

I was just like you, worried about mentioning anything to my doctor because I always go in guns blazing, head spinning and freaking out, but this time I made a pact with myself that I would not do that. So when I had the phone call I just simply said, " I have found a lump" as calm as I possibly could and instead of reeling off all my symptoms I let the doctor ask me the questions and within a minute he referred me straight to the breast clinic, no bones about it. I did have a sudden wave of fear come over me and again when I got the appointment through the fear and anxiety hit again, but this last week I have been trying so hard to not make it a priority but to just put it to the back of my mind. Please mention this lump to your doctor, it could be absolutely nothing again, but it's best to get checked out. 
 

how bizarre that you were prescribed sertraline and did not take them.... and for exactly the same reason as me... I think I read somewhere small risk of pancreatic cancer and that was it I was like nope not taking them. My family were going crazy that I begged for help but refuse to take the medication. I tried cbt for second time beginning of the year but with the kids off from school I couldn't concentrate. So I stopped. Keep going with it, it might make a difference. It is very draining, I know the feeling too well. 
 

That's ok! Thankyou hun, me too! Xx

Yes!! We do!! When I was reading your reply I was thinking to my self, Wow! She sounds just like me .. the strangest thing is, Is about 2 weeks ago I went to the doctor about a "pea" sized lump to the left of my nipple!! But it had like a small dot on it!...he said it looked like a blocked pore, Which it was! I went home and squeezed it and all this white stuff came out Was so relieved though. When you get the time, look at yours again and see if it has that tiny dot on it :) yours may be the same :) and mine didn't really start off about health! It was just the fear of dying all together, Like the world ending and stuff! Used to scare the hell out of me!..as I got older it seemed to of revolved more around health. Maybe because I understood cancer more I'm not sure. 
When I try to reassure my daughter I always think to my self after, maybe I should take some of my own advice lol. And this is getting more and more bizarre as we go along my middle child actually does suffer from water infections! And the doctor thinks it is down to her holding her wee in to long! And I recently got my whole body checked because I have quite a few moles!!! And I wanted to be sure that they weren't anything dangerous swear we are the same person ! 
so glad your husbands also turned out to be ok! As mine were too :) 

and yeah I read the side affects and I saw that it can cause suicidal thoughts!...was a defo no from me! I thought to my self I'm scared stiff of dying any way the last thing I would want is thoughts like that! And I say that in the most humorous way possible lol.

Although I wouldn't wish this condition on anyone, it  feels really nice knowing there is people like me out there and I'm not the only one.

please post on here once you have the all the clear! Would love to know how you got on! And I'll do the same :) xx

That's how I was thinking when I first read your reply lol. Really?? I will certainly be taking a closer look tomorrow!! Can only hope something gives lol. Thank goodness that's all it was for you on that occasion! Bizarre what I bodies out us through. 

oh bless you, it's not a nice thought really is it! It's horrible to think there is many people like us that live in fear, wouldn't it be nice if we could put this behind us and just live our lives without worrying. I think that's me, the whole understanding cancer more than what I did when I was young which is why my mind is glued to that disease. 
 

you know thats funny because I am the same, not just to my children, but I am very good at dishing out the advice and the reassurance and as soon as I say it I laugh to myself and wonder why I never listen to myself, it's strange how our minds work like that! Oh wow this is beginning to get really weird lol. It's like we couldn't have bumped into each other if we tried, had really similar stories and all! I'm literally laying here ignoring Bridgerton on Netflix, mouth wide open, gobsmacked at how we both have extremely similar lifestyles! Maybe we are birthday twins haha! Honestly I just can't believe it it's really stopped me in my tracks lol. Sorry to hear your daughter suffers with infections, these kids ay! They do like to make us worry. Yes I'm glad yours turned out to be ok too. 

Oh I remember reading that side effect and saying to my mum, why would I want to have that side effect I'm petrified of dying, would I want to have those thoughts! Why would they give me a tablet to make me think about suicide when I want to live! I get you lol I take it like humour! 
 

i agree with you, makes me feel kinda normal being able to openly talk to another human feeling the same, it's great talking to family but they just don't get it, nobody that hasn't gone through it will truly understand how we feel! Although I'm with you I wouldn't wish these feelings and thoughts on anyone it's horrible! 
 

absolutely I will definitely be in here letting you know, and I will be waiting for an update from you! I have a good feeling. I feel positive vibes just from speaking with you xxx

That's how I was thinking when I first read your reply lol. Really?? I will certainly be taking a closer look tomorrow!! Can only hope something gives lol. Thank goodness that's all it was for you on that occasion! Bizarre what I bodies out us through. 

oh bless you, it's not a nice thought really is it! It's horrible to think there is many people like us that live in fear, wouldn't it be nice if we could put this behind us and just live our lives without worrying. I think that's me, the whole understanding cancer more than what I did when I was young which is why my mind is glued to that disease. 
 

you know thats funny because I am the same, not just to my children, but I am very good at dishing out the advice and the reassurance and as soon as I say it I laugh to myself and wonder why I never listen to myself, it's strange how our minds work like that! Oh wow this is beginning to get really weird lol. It's like we couldn't have bumped into each other if we tried, had really similar stories and all! I'm literally laying here ignoring Bridgerton on Netflix, mouth wide open, gobsmacked at how we both have extremely similar lifestyles! Maybe we are birthday twins haha! Honestly I just can't believe it it's really stopped me in my tracks lol. Sorry to hear your daughter suffers with infections, these kids ay! They do like to make us worry. Yes I'm glad yours turned out to be ok too. 

Oh I remember reading that side effect and saying to my mum, why would I want to have that side effect I'm petrified of dying, would I want to have those thoughts! Why would they give me a tablet to make me think about suicide when I want to live! I get you lol I take it like humour! 
 

i agree with you, makes me feel kinda normal being able to openly talk to another human feeling the same, it's great talking to family but they just don't get it, nobody that hasn't gone through it will truly understand how we feel! Although I'm with you I wouldn't wish these feelings and thoughts on anyone it's horrible! 
 

absolutely I will definitely be in here letting you know, and I will be waiting for an update from you! I have a good feeling. I feel positive vibes just from speaking with you xxx

Morning, sorry I fell asleep! Had a lovely lay in this morning though :) and yeah just have a little look! I was so worried about it until my doctor pointed out the little dot that was in it :). I am currently waiting for a phone call from my doctor so we can discuss this situation and I'm going to ask if there's any way he can examin me every month. I know it's a lot to ask for but I don't know how someone like me is going to be able to examine my own breasts every month with out always thinking that there is a lump!.

yeah I'm always dishing out advice! Even my mum looks at me funny when I try and give advice to people lol. Omg Imagine that! if we actually did have the same birthday! Mines the December 2nd! When's yours?

and yea that's what I said to my doctor about the side affects! He did reassure me that it's only in rare cases, but to me that still means that it's possible and it just didn't fit in with me atall.  
 

I really do hope we both get through this. I am always here for a chat if ever you're feeling low. Nothing better than talking to some one that understands what your are going through :) 

I will let you know what he thinks as soon as I have seen him :) hopefully he can get me in to day xxx

Hi hun. That's ok. Sorry I have taken so long to reply, had a busy day spending time at the park with my kids, followed by a busy day with them at home and then an online family quiz tonight. Something I look forward to weekly! 
 

what time did you get up? Your kids let you lay in? I wish I did I was up most of the night with a one year old kicking me in the ribs, ended up me sleeping at the bottom of the bed from midnight to 5.30! 
 

I still haven't had a look lol I had actually completely forgotten but I will definitely have a look. Although I just got ready for bed and noticed some marking on my breast.... thankfully, it was melted Easter egg I dropped down my top through the quiz :laugh: 

how did you get on with your phone call? It's not a lot to ask for, it's how you feel comfortable and if you feel more comfortable then doing it I can't see it being a problem, did they agree? 
 

I always get dogs from people about giving advice..."you should take your own" etc lol. 
 

I agree, still a possibility the side effects will happen. It's just how us with health anxiety think and how our minds work. It sucks!

I really hope so too, I'm trying to stay positive for the both of us. I was talking to my sister in law on the phone today at how I had finally found someone to talk to who knows exactly how I am feeling and what I am going through! Although it's not a nice thing I am glad I can finally share my experience and worries too. 
 

hiw has your day been otherwise? Xx

So sorry for the long reply also lol! I've spent a whole day cleaning my house!! Really helped actually! For once I wasn't thinking about my health! I hope you had a lovely time at the park! :) and Yeahh my kids love a lay in their selfs!! Always been great sleepers :)  and yep! I have that with my son! I gets it's full on foot in my throat I do hope you manage to get some sleep tonight though :) 

that made me laugh out loud about the Easter egg I do things like that too! I went for a long walk the ocher day! And on the evening I was scared thinking something wasn't right because my legs were aching! Then I remembered! I went on that walk  

and yes! I was saying the same thing to my mum! She couldn't Believe it either when I was telling her our similarities! 
 

And my day has been brilliant today! Probably one of the best I've had in a while! I spoke to my doctor! And he reassured me that breasts are naturally lumpy anyway!! And that hormones changing can also make our breasts lumpy! He said if it's still there in a week! He will see me again! But he said he is not worried atall!

how was your day?? Hope it went well! Xxxx

Ohh don't be silly! That's something I need to do lol. 
I'm glad It helped and it took your mind off of your health worries. I have done 2 full days being busy with my kids, parks, walking around lakes, taking the dog for a walk, having ice creams, play dough, you name it we have done it, and again like you, I am sitting here knackered and thinking I really shouldn't be this tired and then remember hold on you don't normally do this much exercise haha. Oh god haha these toddlers ay! My eldest will sleep all day if he could! My middle child gets up without fail between 7 and 7.30 and my one year old well we have already established her lol. 
 

haha to be fair it made me slap myself on the head when I realised then I laughed to myself. 
 

it's crazy our similarities but at the same time it's so so nice! The thought of knowing someone out there really knows how I feel and I guess the same for you too! 
 

oh I am so glad for you, I hope it all settles down for you and there is no need to take it further! I have 3 more sleeps to hope for the best, but in all honesty I am starting to poo my pants a little bit, even starting to dream about my appointment! That's always bliss when I wake up from it and the dream is over! It always feels so real though! At night is my worst time, but when everybody goes to sleep I have been watching good old Netflix, I started Bridgerton 2 nights ago and already on episode 4, have you seen it? 
 

xxx

It really did help a lot! Never thought in a million years I would actually want to stress about house work . Awww that sounds like absolute fun!! We were doing painting yesterday!! The kids love it when the persuade me to get the paints out they know that I threat about them getting it every where lol. We have a theme park that's opening near where we live on the 15th April! It's called thunder world! You may of heard of it as it travels round the uk!...that's if you're from the UK of course .

that's like me right now .......about ten minutes ago I was thinking to my self! Omg! I've got lower back pains!!!! like I haven't been bending back words and forwards all day trying to get my house all lovely and clean . It's funny isn't how after words we can laugh about it, but at the time it is actually terrifying!. 

yes!! I absolutely love the fact that I've found someone just like me! And in a weird way! It really helps that's your a complete stranger lol!..sometimes it's better than talking to people you already know. 
 

Thankyou so much! I'm just going to take his word for it! And like he said! If it's not gone with in a week then I can ring him back..and believe me!! I will be ringing him ...I am 100% positive that you're going to be absolutely fine!!..i will be thinking of you on the day! And I will be waiting for an update!:)...

I haven't actually watched Bridgerton! But a few of my friends have!...isit good? I may start it tonight :)...I've also added you as a friend on here!!. Maybe we could talk through messaging :) xxx

Hey hun I have replied To this message through messages and accepted you friend request. I don't think it gives you an email to say I have messaged though so may have to sign in to check at points so you don't miss it xxx