Hi,

I've been reading this forum a lot.  Last summer i got a heat/sweat rash under both boobs.  Took to google and decided to treat it myself with two canestan type creams.  I wasn't very thorough/committed so it lasted a long time - or would keep coming back until around November time when i finally started applying the cream properly.  Not sure if that has anything to do with what happened next - i dont think so but dont know.  Around October time onwards i started to experience some uncomfortableness in my left breast at night, if sleeping on my front - like there was something there but couldnt feel anything.  then since Jan my left boob has become increasingly uncomfortable.  Without touching it sometimes it feels very swollen, big, uncomfortable, like a big ball, sometimes feels like big ball of nothing - hollowness.  Sometimes both feel uncomfortable but mostly the left, every day.  Ignored it.

then beginning of this month a big (10p piece) round red patch like a bite appeared - thought i'd been bit - squeezeed it and was little painful when sqeezed.  Appeared south eaat of my nipple.  There was a round lump under it but thought just a bite, but not like any bite ever had before.  Next day it was red and purple - like bruised - but not squeezed that hard so odd.  After a week still there but redness died down but still can see red circle, has bit of dry skin on it (dont suffer from skin issues) but lumop still there.  Went to GP - referred with 2 week to breast clinic.

I'm 42 and have a 6 year old - I'm terrified.  Never had any issues before and one minute i feel like i'm going to look so stupid for overeacting, the next I'm planning my funeral.  Only told my husband, dont want people to worry or me to look silly if nothing.  Finding it impossible to concetrate at work, have just had the two most stressful years of my life, thankfully nearly all over but worried that this work stress as resulted in breast cancer.  Also have a lot of work to do and exams to sit and just can't concentrate on anything.  can't sleep, broke down in tears in work meeting, fell out with colleague - feel awful.

rang Friday as not heard from breast clinic - they are waiting for appointments - rang today - actual truth - they are struggling to see everyone due to covid and have not got on to the March referrals yet.  Chances are they wont see me until April, could be waiting a month or more!.  Actually cried on the phone - i cannot have this hanging over me a day longer.

I'm in Lincoln.  Saw a post on this site re private referrals.  Went on the website of my local private hospital and they had a live chat.  If this helps others, and i realise I'm lucky to be able to, but i'll be using my savings, they gave me the following price

Consultation - £210

Mammogram - £198

Ultra Sound £331

Biopsy £1500

Hopefully just the consultation and mammo - we'll see - did say if need biopsy he may be able to bump me up NHS list as consultant at both private and NHS hosp.  Have an appointment for next tuesday - can't come soon enough, can't even wait that long but feel much better for getting an appointment.  they said they are recieving a lot of calls from NHS patients who cannot get an appointment for weeks on the NHS.  So i'm paying to see the same person i would for free at my NHS hospital - but to be honest feels like the best money I've ever spent - hopefully.  

Tuesday week cannot come fast enough.  Hope this helps someone as going private was not even something i had thought about and when i did wasnt even sure if it was something i could afford.  

The wait is the worst thing ever - not knowing if everything is going to be ok and you can go back to life as normal - with a lot more appreciation for it! Or if you're going to die.  I'm not bothered if they have to chop off a boob or if i lose my hair - i just need to be here for the next 20 years at least for my little boy.