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Possible cancer 11 months after mum's stage 4 diagnosis

Sprang
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Hi there,

Not quite sure what to say or what I'm looking to get from this but maybe it's a chance to vent?

I'm 20 and spent last year supporting my mum and caring for her as she went through treatment for stage 4 ovarian cancer whilst contiuning with my university work. The whole process was very difficult for my family and as an only child, and the whole thing happening in coronatimes, it was difficult not being able to talk through worries and concerns with my parents as that would have been insenstive to what my mum was going through and the stress it was putting my dad under.

I and my family had actually processed this all quite well. Until now. I am back at university now and 2 days ago I went to the GP for a pelvic exam and have been given an urgent refferal to the gynaecology rapid access clinic to follow up a swollen cervix. Whilst it probably isn't cancer it is still a possibility. I don't want to tell my family until there is something to tell for risk of worrying them prematurely and I also don't want to stress my housemates as their concern will probably make me more anxious than I actually am.

In short: I'm terrified of going to the appointment becuase it was painful at the GP, I'm conflicted about sharing this development with my family, I have to get on with uni work which I'm behind on and which seems inconsequential at the moment, I don't want to worry my housemates/be fussed over, but I would also like some support I suppose. Can I even bring someone to the appointment with me?

Who knows. Anyways, not looking for a solution at the moment as I don't think there necessarily is one but thanks for reading if you got this far in my 'woe is me' tale and I wish you a fab Wednesday!

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    [@Sprang]‍ 

     Hi Sprang,what a thoroughly awful time for you. I can see that you’re torn, and so would I be. I post on here for breast cancer, so have no knowledge of ovarian cancer, though I can well imagine, what your mum and your family are going through. The breast clininc I go to only allows accompanying family members or friends for results only, it may not be the same everywhere I don’t 100% know, BUT they can accompany you and sit just outside the clininc door or on reception area, my husband did from the get go, that way you’re not over stressing en route to the appointment with someone to chat with. My advice if you don’t want to stress mum and dad, do you have a ‘bestie’ or do you have an aunt you may be close to or a grandparent who could keep it just between the two of you until you have a bit of clarity. I’m sure someone else will come along and contribute. We’re all the same Sprang, without the ability to discuss it with someone, we can blow it up out of proportion in our minds. You need the ability to discuss it, are you close to one of your housemates in particular? This covid is so difficult because it robs us of the ability to have that face to face contact to chat, which is so important. Do tell someone, you are young to carry this burden on your own. I wish you peace of mind and happier days coming up, but a problem shared is definitely a problem halved. All the best, Lyn. X

  • Offline in reply to yorkiegal

    Hi Lyn

    Thank you ever so much for your reply. I posted earlier just to get a weight off I suppose and I really wasn't expecting to hear anything back which makes me even more grateful for your response.

    I'm lucky to have housemates who are incredibly supportive but they do all have worries of their own (anxiety and depression). That said, I will talk to one of them once I have more details regarding my appointment. Thank you for the info on accompaniment- hopefully I can work something out there as that would make the appointment itself seem less daunting! Also, I'll have an ask once I have appt infos and am feeling more proactive.

    In the meantime, I might chat to my aunt to get some family support and perspective without bringing my parents into it. Let's see.

    Wishing you and your family well, Lyn, and thank you again for your kind and helpful words x

  • Offline in reply to Sprang

    [@Sprang]‍ , You are very welcome. I do know what you mean about fearing a further painful examination, I suffer with a condition ‘down there’ and every time I go for a smear test, I am anxious for days beforehand, I sit there sweating and trying to breath through gritted teeth while the smear is being taken - I hate it! Tell them what you experienced at the GP and insist they use plenty of lubricant. Do speak to your aunt, turn that ‘might’ speak with her into a ‘will’ - she will welcome you with open arms, and her age will have given her life experience to help you emotionally, it really will. I hope you get on well, and have a positive outcome. Remember, the first steps are the scariest........Take care lovely. Best regards, Lyn. X

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