Hi everyone.

I've been irresponsible and stupid, leaving my smear test 10 years. I thought it was only around 5 so I was shocked when the nurse told me I'd missed 2- almost 3- cycles. Crazy how the years run away with you and although I'm not the only one, I feel I'm now paying the price for being so careless with my health.

My smear test results have came back with HPV present- which I expected as I've had these cells before, but my letter says that further testing reported 'high grade dyskarosis'.

I used to smoke, although I haven't for around 3 years now. I don't really have a colour to my discharge but it's watery and it has started to smell when it never used to. I'm having a shower 2-3 times a day just to feel clean.

I've had lower back ache for around 12-18 months but put it down to the mattress and recently got a new one. As I had sciatica after my first child I've always suffered with it on and off so it could just be that. But  I've seen that it can be a symptom of more advanced cervical cancer and so I am obviously worried sick. Not always but occasionally I have a stabbing pain in my lower abdomen, around where I believe my right ovary would be.

Could anyone tell me if they had any of these symptoms or can I please hear of anyone's experience who also had high grade dyskaryosis? I know this does not mean for certain that it has developed into cancer but with how long I went without a smear test and the symptoms I have I'm preparing myself for the worst.

I turn 36 next week (on the day of my colposcopy- typical!), I'm a mother of 2 boys and I'm terrified, not for myself but obviously for them.

Sorry for rambling on, but it has felt good to let it out.