Hello People I don't really know where start but I will try to tell you my story.

So I'm 41 and I have been sick for a long time with a spinal injury. L3 l4 l5 prolapse and herniated discs and a S1 S2 prolapse. But last year I started having really bad pain in my belly and every time I was eating I'd have to go to the toilet. After a short time. After going on and on at my GP because  of the pain and the needing to go the toilet. They decide to do a colonoscopy and they found I had diverticulitis. And sent me away without any treatment or follow on.

Anyway this problem has continued on and off since but the last 12-16 weeks it's gotten so much worse. As soon as I have food it's coming out of me and I can be going to the toilet then almost constantly. And every time I eat it feels like some one is kicking me in the belly or I eaten razor blades. Now I suffer with mental health problems depression anxiety. And I see the psychiatrist once a month and cpn weekly. I spoke with them about what's going on and they said go back to the doctor's.

So I did I went to my GP on the 21/12/2020 and was sent to the hospital. Only to find I was there for my back and not the problem I went to my GP wi I told the hospital I thought I was there about my belly. So they did some blood's and I left.

Anyway I had a call from the doctor's and I explained that I was not happy being sent to A&E for my back when my belly is the problem. And we got a appointment setup for my back but this is where my problem is.

On the 23 or 24 /12/2020 I received a litter in the post from the hospital saying i need to go to hospital for a Suspected lower GI Cancer. Now on the day of the Letter I was ok but I think after a sleep on it. The worry has started taking over and now I'm feeling pains all over the place. Witch I'm Eva imagining or just noticing more because of the circumstances.

How do you deal with the not knowing as it's making me more I'll now. I haven't told my mom as I don't want to worry here.

As she her self had cancer a couple of years ago and is in remission. Cancer seems to run in my family

My mom's nan died from lung cancer

My nan had breast cancer but is ok now.

My mom hade cancer I can't say what type but had to have it surgically removed.

My grand dad died from cancer

And my uncle died from cancer

Now I brought this up to my doctor's in the past that there's a history of cancer in my family. And was told not to worry as there different cancer's and not something they would see as problem.

And here I am today worried to bits and going crazy from it.

Thanks for reading I'm sorry if this post don't make much sense. But my mind is all over the place and my body feels like a war ground. But be nice to hear that this is not just me and a normal reaction to the words of Cancer.

So thank you for your time and hope you have a blessed New year