Hi all

I have had an enlarged lymph node on the left hand side of my neck for a number of years now, I'm not sure when it first occurred or when I first noticed it. It can be felt not seen (though I'm sure I can see it) and it feels quite large, my doctor noted that it was about the same size as the first section of a finger. It moves when I press on it, I would say its rubbery but it's not rock solid. It doesn't hurt or cause me pain though sometimes it seems to ache, but I know this could be psychosomatic because I am constantly worrying and thinking about it. I have no other symptoms that I'm aware of. 

The lump has started to become a real worry to me, its all that I think about and with covid happening I'm becoming more and more anxious of my body and my health. I finally called my doctor, was told to describe it on the phone and informed that it was nothing to worry about it. I called up a month or so later because the call didn't put my mind to rest, the doctor had made an incorrect note that it was on the the wrong side of my neck and this was already making me lose faith. I held my ground and said I needed to come in and get it looked at because I was so worried and upset. He has arranged for me to have a blood test and an ultrasound scan as he's confirmed it's a lymph node, though he did try to say he doesn't think it will be anything serious due to the length of time I've had it, I'm still terrified. After this I've found another smaller lymph node that I can feel closer to my collarbone, I've only recently noticed this and I have no idea if it's new or has been there a long time. 

I'm really scared and frightened about this, I'm 25 and my best friend's dad has just passed away from terminal cancer during covid. I know that there's not much I can do and I shouldn't worry or Google it but I can't help it. I'm hoping it's a reactionary node from a really bad bought of tonsillitis I had, but the second node is making me panic. What if I've had it for years and it's spread to the rest of my body?

It's currently less than a week until Christmas and I won't have any clarity until potentially a few weeks after. I don't want to worry my family and make them panic if it turns out to be nothing. I don't know how I'm going to get through this waiting period with this constant fear on my mind. I honestly don't know what to do.