Aww Poppy I'm sorry to hear this. I felt compelled to reply to your post as when I was your age I had the same sort of thing. Since I was about 14 years old I was convinced I had throat cancer, a neck tumour, every lump was cancer. I even had the brain fog type thing you explained. I'm now 40 years old and have never had any serious problems and have passed numerous medicals for different things.

I honestly think most of the things you talk about could be anxiety related which is self perpetuating. Obviously at 19 you are very very unlikely to have cancer and as these symptoms have been going on for years are likely to be something else, if anything at all.

I remember avoiding the doctor at all costs in my teens and early twenties convinced they'd tell me I had months to live. I had to have a medical in 2004 and was so scared I asked my dad to come with me... how about that?? Guess what though... nothing wrong with me.

Let me tell you something else. I had perfect vision up until about 2010 when I realised my right eye was blurry. Every now and then. I tried on different glasses in a supermarket and they did nothing. I was terrified it was something horrendous going on with my eye as glasses did nothing so I knew it wasn't short sightedness. Guess what... in February 2020, yes ten years later I had to have a medical for work which included an eye exam. Before the medical I bit the bullet and went to the opticians. I walked in and out of a handful of opticians before building up the courage to actually book an appointment. Guess what? Astigmatism... correctable with glasses. When I first put them on it was amazing... ten years of worry for nothing and perfect eye health after all.

Please go to the doctors. I know it's scary, I know it's hard. I know the mere thought of it terrifies you. The sweats, the sleepless nights. Don't waste years of your life worrying, go and see someone and bring a friend with you. 

Oh and yes anal fissures... sooo common. Bright red blood especially at your age is almost certainly nothing to worry about... but get it checked out! I too have the same problem.

Dan

Hi Dan,

Thankyou so much for your reply! It really does make me feel better that I am not the only person to experience something like this. Deep deep down part of me sees that this could all be linked to anxiety but like you say I think I just need to face my fear of the Doctor. If I thought there would be nothing wrong I would book an appointment in a heartbeat! Some days when I'm busy my symptoms don't cross my mind but when I'm alone with my thoughts one thing always leads to another and I spend hours on the internet searching my symptoms! Anyway thanks so much again for sharing your story, I will definitely sleep a bit better tonight knowing I'm not alone and my mind has been put slightly to rest knowing that your symptoms were not anything sinister :) Poppy

Hi Poppy,

How are you doing?

Dan