Hi Lisa,

I get the whole thing about children.

At the risk of sounding sexist, I know children need their mothers more than fathers, however there are "dad" type things. 

I can't bear the thought of my kids with nobody to cheer on in teh dads race at sports day etc.

I've been a real mess this morning over it all.

Rationally, I know I have to wait for a diagnosis, and it's an "If", not a "when". But it doesn;'t stop these thoughts coming

I don't have any practical advice apart from letting you know you are not alone in all of this.

Take care,

D 

Thank you for reaching out to me , I am so sorry you are going through the same it's our natural parental nature to suddenly go through all the possible scenarios about if we have cancer how will we tell our children will they be able to manage it what if it defeats us so I'm totally with you on this and as long as your a present parent I don't think being the mother or father is any less value so I'm sorry if I came across that way.my 2 oldest children which includes my son with disabilities don't have their father in their life's he ran off when awaiting my sons diagnosis 14 years ago I think that's why I worry so much because me and my sons big sister my eldest daughter are his everything so I can't bear the thought of leaving them and my daughter having to deal with it all without me I am here for you to talk to too may I ask what your situation is? Have you had your referral application yet etc.sending a big cuddle and really hope you are ok 

Hi Lisa,

You didnt come across as saying mothers were more  valued or anything - I was just sharing my own views so please no need to apologise.

I went to my GP this week who requested an x ray and bloods.

Waiting to hear back on that whether an oncology referral is needed.

Hugs to you too and hopefully our minds may stop racing so much!

Take care

D

Hello Lisa, 

I went to my GP with a lump in my boob and had the 2 week referral. I had my apt at the breast clinic on 2 Nov ... I'll be honest I was terrified. The waiting is horrendous- I drank my way through the 2 weeks waiting for this appointment if I'm honest.

I'm a single mum so I get where your coming from. I kept having a cry at the thought of leaving my Son alone! 
The appointment was fine, consultant check, mammogram and ultrasound scan all done and results there and then - cysts!
The consultant did say that they are benign but can change size over time due to hormones and tissue necrosis. This can cause them to go hard and calcify, he said does not put you at risk of BC. Hopefully this is what you are experiencing ...sounds fairly similar. 
 

Good Luck 

Rae 
 

Thank you Rae and so pleased you got the all clear I really hope that is what this is,I think this time I'm more worried because of the indent and the dimples never had this before ,last time I was at the breast clinic they did say any changes or problems to get back in so they have my history and hopefully I'll get the all clear too Must of been so worrying for you being a single mum I completely understand and empathise we get the worse scenarios going through our minds for the outcome for our children I just want to get it over and done with now . 

Thats exactly how I felt, just needed it done. I'm still a bit shell-shocked by it all to be honest. It's made breast cancer that little bit more 'real' now. 
I didnt have an indent but could actually see the lump under my skin so had a definite bump

Fingers crossed for you that you get the all clear too

Rae Xx

️Thank you Rae yes it does and it's such a scary time I remember going last time and sitting in my robe with around 6 other lady's just waiting in silence and all I wanted to do was give them all a cuddle as I knew they'd all be feeling the same way going to just try keep as busy as possible for the next few weeks and hope this goes quickly it doesn't help that I can constantly feel it especially at night when I lie down ️ did they remove your cyst for you and are you in pain with yours xx

Hiya, no they left it. It didn't hurt but once I found it I was constantly poking and prodding so I think I made it sore. 
I'm not sure what the COVID rules are where you are but I had to attend this appointment alone - which was a bit daunting but the nurses were lovely. 
Yes keep as busy as you can, anything to take your mind off it- I became a Netflix addict and supped my own body weight in Merlot! 
 

Rae Xx

Good morning Rae I'm in Oldham so we're we're in the high zone so got a feeling I'll be going alone also maybe that's best as need to keep strong and if my bf is with me I know I'll just break as he really is so supportive I can always be myself with him so I'll be putting on my big girls pants ha. I'll be keeping myself busy today ready to do bonfire night tonight as I'd forgotten about it yesterday as obviously my mind was elsewhere plus my daughter is of work so need to put o a brave face and act normal as she'll know straight away something wrong we are so close we always know if something wrong with each other she's my best friend it this is something I don't want to put on her right now so lots of food fireworks and a board game. My last cyst wasn't sore unless pressing it like you said but this lump is and I'm even taking pain killers at night as seems worse and makes me feel sick when I get in bed and if I was a drinker I'd probably do the same ha but I'm best staying away from alcohol as I'll just end up a crying mess haha xx