Cancer Research UK main site

Convinced Im dying

Gera60
Offline

I'm 60, was working til 5 weeks ago. Suddenly had severe fatigue/ low vit d/low iron. Fatigue and itching started. Alkaline phos raised.  Querying Biliary cholangitis 

I feel so bad Im convinced I haven't got long. I'm alone. I have a sister but she has no idea what it's like. I'm avoiding talking to friends as they talk as if I'm dying too. I can't stand it much longer. I have s scan soon but am going through hell thinking itll be cirrhosis or liver cancer. I can accept if I die but its the  agony beforehand. Losing my job/my life. I am planning nursing home for my final weeks, it seems unreal. It's worse than hell. I have a religious faith but finding no consolation in it

  • Offline

    Hi Gera60. 

    I'm so sorry to hear you have these fears and feel so alone. It's really hard, the waiting and it's so easy to get to much into your own head.

    I'm currently waiting and feel very similar. My anxiety is through the roof.

     I just keep having to tell myself off, tell myself my worrying  won't change the outcome of my results.

      I know it will come in waves but when the fear comes back try and ask yourself what will the worry achieve. Make a ice cold drink,It lowers the heart rate.  A fast heart beat can lead to feelings of panic. Concentrate on the sips you take. I know it's easier said than done to remain calm. 

      Hope you get good results and your anxiety calms down. X

     

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.