Hello everyone,

I'm 25 and I've not long had my second baby (7 months old). I had some abnormal bleeding after sex and just randomly and I'd originally written it off as a breastfeeding quirk, as I was a bit irregular after my first child.

I went to get it checked out 13/08/20 and the gynae did an internal and found abnormal cells, a cyst and then took swabs. She said I'd be referred for colposcopy/biopsy/LLETZ and that she'd put a note to say urgent.

I walked out fairly confident that things would be sorted quickly. I got a follow up letter saying to expect the referral by the 20/08. So when that didn't come I rang around, the hospital said that I won't hear anything till September and that the swabs should be back soon. I then rang the GP and said that is at minimum 3 weeks away, which doesn't strike me as 'urgent.' They all but shrugged and blamed COVID-19 for delays.

I then got a private appointment which is due on the 04/09 (Two days from now). But I rang the GP today as I haven't slept barely a wink this whole time due to anxiety about death, cancer etc. I've also had a dull, continuous ache in my pelvis where I'd say my ovaries are. This started a week after the initial appointment and at first I thought it was just paranoia, but the pains spread to both sides and I'm bloated.

In a panic I rang the hospital who said they had no clue about a referral (which goes against what they said last time I spoke to them) so I rang the GP and magically now I'm being told to hear from them in a couple of days. I asked about the swab results and the secretary said I need to speak to the gynae as it just says to repeat the swabs on the system. She asked me had I been informed and I said no.

I'm ringing the gynae tomorrow as I'm frightened of this pelvic pain and what it could be. Especially given how much it's worsened over the course of the few weeks. I'm terrified that each day's making my chance of survival worse, I don't even know if it's cancer but I can't think of what else this could be and I can't stop crying at the thought of leaving my babies without a mummy and not remembering me because they're too young. 

I also did the stupid thing and read up about Ovarian cancer (I checked the NHS website against my symptoms and that's what came up.) And now I'm convinced I have less then five years to live. I'm utterly hysterical with fear and I don't know how to urge the gynae to do the relevant tests without her not taking me seriously. I have faith that the private appointment should be more helpful, but it's costing us £200 just for an initial appointment and that's money we don't really even have and it worries me looking at how the NHS had been dealing with this, that I could just be left to get worse and worse until there's no going back.

Sorry about the negativity, but I cannot see what else this could be and I'm beyond terrified. I can barely breathe.