Hey, my name is Connor, but my friends call me Gnasher, dont ask why lmao. I'm 20 years old and i could have possible Lymphoma.

During lockdown, i started noticing this lump in my neck and thought it was unusual. Iv'e recently lost a grandfather to cancer and when i was younger i lost a much closer grandfather of mine to brain cancer, and saw the whole process. This seriously impacted my life so i instantly thought of cancer when i found this lump but i was so scared and adament it would go away i ignored it for a couple of months until more appeared and they got considerably larger.

Eventually i went to a Doctor and they told me it was nothing to worry about, but because i was so anxious they'd refer me to an urgent cancer refferal and before i knew it they told me i needed a biopsy under a US scan and they seemed fairly concerned. I Had this biopsy a week ago now and iv'e spoken to the doctor and asked her questions and although we're waiting for the results they're pretty sure it's lymphoma and the test will benefit more to get me a diagnosis and to find out what type i could have.

Iv'e lived on my own since i was 17 and used to be homeless and a drug addict, iv'e built my way up from nothing and only recently into a stable fairly clean life with a good network of friends after 3 years. Now im so so scared that i'm going to lose it all, iv'e already started to relapse i think and my heads all over the place.

I really do apologise for venting so much im just so stressed and dont know where to turn.

Can anyone help on what the next step is? What do i do now? At what point am i overthinking the situation and worrying too much? 

thank you so much for being somewhere i can turn too

~ Gnasher